Thursday 1st March - 29th March 2012 - Mum is getting weaker

Thursday 1st March 2012

Phoned the care home and spoke to Daphne, she said that mum was OK, they had got her to eat a bowl of porridge this morning, she had been in John, one of the other residents, room sitting in his recliner chair while he was lying on his bed but she was now in the dining room watching the others make cakes. They will try her with more porridge for supper if she wont eat anything else.

Wednesday 7th March

Mum was sitting by the carers desk, when she saw us she said to one of the other visitors 'there are my two' she looked very confused, we have both noticed that she has lost a lot of weight, she still isn't eating.. It was chaos in the home today, carers rushing about and arguing,I had to ask several times for one of them to take mum to the loo.  I couldn't get mum out of the chair otherwise I would have taken her myself.

We walked mum along to her room and sat he in her chair, we put her TV on and she looked a lot happier and calmer, we left her watching TV.

Wednesday 14th March

I went in to see mum with Andrew, mum was in her room, she said 'here's Andrew' she asked him where his older brothers was, we think that she may have meant John.  She was watching TV and talking to the people on the screen..Tina told us she loves Jeremy Kyle .... (she wouldn't have watched anything like that when she was well).  She seems happiest when she is in her room. She was very muddly again today.  Karen came in and helped her into her armchair as she was on a dining room chair.  She drank a milky drink while we were there.  Andrew showed her his phone and she asked him if she could keep it.  He showed her some photos that he had on his phone and she saw one of Dib and she asked Andrew if it was Char. Think it may have just been a fluke but she worked out how to change the photos by flicking the screen of the phone

She was quite happy when we left.

Saturday 17th March

Popped into see mum as Michael is away and Teresa not going in until Monday with Lissa, also Mothers day tomorrow, she was really pleased that we had gone in and looked a lot better today.  I changed her duvet cover and made her bed and brushed her hair.  She wanted to go to the loo so had to get Daphne to help her as I couldn't get her out of the chair... When Daphne came in she got up on her own!...

Monday 19th March

Teresa and Lissa went in to see mum today. Teresa text to say that they had gone through mums clothes as mum had lost so much weight when she stood up her skirt fell down as it is now too big for her, they are going to buy her some new skirts. Kate had sent some M & S vouchers for mums birthday and Christmas so they would use them towards buying them.  I think that mum got a little confused about all the sorting out.

Friday 23rd March

We decided to go in earlier to see mum, we parked at the back and JJ looked in her window she looked really well, Tina and Karen said she had eaten more and by herself instead of them having to feed her.  I asked Tina if mum could have her hair done today and she said that they would take her up after we go.  Karen came in for a chat and mum was very jolly with her.

John took a photo of her and showed it to her and asked her who it was, she said that she didn't know and when he told her it was her she said 'Bloody hell', she made us giggle several times, she was happy when we left.

Thursday 29th March

I went in to see mum with Mary and Bev, she was in the lounge, she recognised me but not my name she was not sure about Mary and Bev.  We told her it was nice outside and she asked to go out, so I asked if she would like to go out for a walk, she stood up and said 'well,  come on then'.  We got a wheelchair and put her coat on and then got a throw to put round her legs.  We took her round the park and she loved it but wanted to pick all the litter.. We took her round Tesco, she was looking and pointing at everything,  Mary and I bought her a throw between us. She looked at Mary and told her that she was big!

I nearly had an accident with her when we crossed the road the small wheel at the front of the chair got stuck and the kerb was quite high and it jolted forward, she just giggled ...

They were just getting ready for lunch when we got back so we took her into the dining room and Mervyn took her and sat her at the table still in her wheelchair.

She quite happily let us go and waved at us through the window..

Tuesday 7th February - 29th February 2012

Tuesday 7th February 2012

Mum in her room, she was pleased to see us, spoke to Karen and she said that mum had good/bad days, she feeds herself one day and the next day they have to do it for her.  Mum had jam all down her top so changed it for her and brushed her hair, she wanted to go to the toilet, we couldn't get her up so had to get Mervyn, the carer to help us, I took her to the toilet but she had an accident so had to get the carer to get some fresh underwear for her, he took so long I had to go and find him, poor mum was on the loo for 10 minutes.  Karen came in and help me in the end.

Mum was a bit better today, we got her to eat 2 biscuits and drink a cup of tea, she was happily confused today.

Wednesday 15th February

Daphne caught us before we went in to see mum to say that mum was going for an x-ray on her leg first thing tomorrow as doctor wanted to see if she had done any damage when she fell, as she is walking badly, she is holding her foot out, we had thought that for a while.

Mum was pleased to see us, she looked frail and seems to be shrinking into her chair.  I had to change her top and vest as she had spilt her tea down her front.  Karen told us that she was taking mum for her x-ray tomorrow.

Thursday 16th February

Charlie messaged me to say that he saw mum at the hospital while she was waiting to go in for her x-ray and she gave him a lovely big smile which made his day

Tuesday 21st February

Mum was sitting just outside the lounge, she was pleased, as usual, to see us. We took her to her room, she talked non stop, she noticed that I had a cold and mentioned it a couple of times, she seemed quite happy.  We turned her TV on for her she started to wave at Philip Scofield, bless her ... John said to her about going dancing and she said 'Not bloody likely'.

When we went to go home she said 'You can't go home'  John told her that I had to go to the doctors to get some tablets for my cold and she seemed quite happy with that , she would have been in her element if we had stayed watching TV with her all day..

Wednesday 29th February

Mum was wondering along the corridor and it took her quite a while to realise who we were, Daphne told us that the x-ray was OK and all was normal, the doctor had referred her to a throat/speech therapist as she is having trouble swallowing, she hadn't eaten any breakfast.  I took her in some homemade cake but she couldn't eat is as couldn't swallow.  Karen came and helped her eat a yogurt it took quite a while as mum had to be encouraged to eat.  She was very sleepy and kept nodding off.

She had new curtains in her room but her table was very dirty.  JJ cleaned it, some off the bits must have been on there for quite while as it took a lot of cleaning!

We left mum dozing in her chair.

Monday 2nd January - Tuesday 31st January 2012Tuesday

Monday 2nd January 2012

Teresa phoned to see which day we were going in to see mum this week, we decided we would go in on Wednesday and she would go on Thursday

Tuesday 3rd January 

Left a message for Teresa to say that we would go and see mum on Friday as Daph is not well and we would be going over to see her, she text later and said that she would on Wednesday instead and would phone me in the evening and tell me how she is

Wednesday 4th January

Teresa phoned and said that she had been in to see mum and that she was well and happy, she had eaten a little dinner although she doesn't seem to be worried about eating anything.

Daphne told Teresa that someone was going in to 'Assess' mum on Monday, she said that she would go in if I wanted her too. Teresa told Daphne that the big box of chocolates that were taken away and put in the office from mums room could be shared with the staff.


Friday 6th January

Mum in her room when we arrived, she was pleased to see us, she was watching TV and looked happy and contended, we stayed with her for a couple of hours, she said that she wanted to stay in her room for her lunch, we went along and saw Daphne about her assessment on Monday, she explained that is was Social Services who were coming to see if care home or family had any problems and if we were happy with everything, I told Daphne that Teresa would be there as I had a hospital appointment.

While we were with Daphne Cynthia brought mum along to the dining room for her lunch, mum got very confused when she saw that we were still there.

Text Teresa and told her what the assessment was all about on Monday she said that she was quite happy to be there

Mum had asked us where the dog was which surprised us that she had remembered him.

Thursday 12th January

Mum was in her room again, we took Herbie in with us as she had asked about him last time we went to see her, she was really muddly and thought that she was seeing people on the wall, it was a hard visit today and quite upsetting, We walked her along to the dining room so she could have her lunch with the others, Karen said that she wished that she could look after mum all the time, we said that we would like that too.

Wednesday 18th January

Mum was in the lounge, she was pleased to see us although she didn't quite know who we were but she did say to Daphne  'do you know my daughter', she looked better but confused, her attention span was almost nil today, we walked her along to the dining room before we left.

Tuesday 24th January

Got a call from Daphne to say that mum was on her way to William Harvey hospital,she had slipped off her bed and hit her head on the wall, she had even left a big dent in the wall!, she had complained about her back so they thought it was best to get her seen by the doctors at the hospital, Micheal and I got there about 7.15pm, Yolanda, the carer, was with her, mum had a ECG all was OK, doctor examined her but couldn't find anything wrong, I asked if mum could have some pain killers as she was in pain so they gave her 2 x co-codamol at 8.30pm, the doctor watched her walking with a walking frame and she said that mum was fine.

We had to wait for Patient transport, as it was a long wait they transferred mum to a side ward, mum had a little nap, finally the ambulance arrived at midnight, (Micheal had his car but as it is a Discovery and impossible to mum into and the home had also sent mum in without a coat or slippers!).  I went with mum in the ambulance and when we got back to the care home we waited until the carers got mum comfortable in her bed.  I told the carers that mum had been given painkillers and could they change her her,

I told Michael that we would leave going in to see mum until Thursday

Wednesday  25th January

Phoned to see how mum was, Daphne said that she was very stiff and said that she and Tina had got her up this morning and she was sitting in her chair in her room.  I told Daphne that we would be in tomorrow.

John said that as I was worried about her it would be best to go and see her today, Daphne saw us at the front reception and said that she thought that we were weren't gong in until tomorrow, she said that she was surprised that the hospital hadn't done a urine test, blood test or x-ray, she is down to see the doctor tomorrow and that she would phone if there were any problems.

Mum was confused but looked better this morning she only had a bruise on her hand and back of her head was sore, we stayed with her for about and hour and left her watching TV ... got her to eat a couple of jelly sweets'

Saturday 28th January

Phone the care home to see how mum was, spoke to Daphne, she said that mum was happy but she was still not eating a lot mainly jam sandwiches, biscuits and cake!.  The doctor saw her on Thursday and checked her over, he checked her eyes and the back of her head and said that all was fine.

Daphne said that the only visible marks on her was a small bruise on her bottom and a bruise on her hand.  

Tuesday 31st January

Mum was at the hairdressers when we got to the care home, Teresa was there too, we went over to the coffee shop at Tesco while mum was having her hair done, when we got back mum was still at the hairdressers,  I went up and got her and she said 'Oh good, don't leave me' then she said 'where's John'.

Tina said that mum wasn't eating and that they had to feed her, they also have to use the hoist to get her into bed at night, she is alright getting out of bed in the morning.  Teresa and I took it in turns to feed her dinner to her, she wouldn't eat her pudding so Tina gave her some ice cream which she ate OK, she seems to have lost the ability to feed herself, she sits and opens her mouth so we can put the food in but has no inclination to feed herself, she was very confused and kept looking around as if she couldn't work out where she was, when John said a couple of cheeky things to her she either said 'Christ' or Bloody hell'. she still has her sense of humour. we left about 1.30pm she wasn't really interested that we were leaving.

Monday 5th December - 30th December 2011

Monday 5th December 2011

Daphne phoned from the care home to say that mum had another tumble today, she was found on the floor in the room opposite, she had been rummaging through the drawers in the room, she had found a nightie and put it in the bin.  Daphne thinks she had tried to sit on the bed and slipped down onto the floor. She had been to the Christmas entertainment this afternoon and had a glass of wine, so that may have been some of problem.  I asked her if mum was OK and she said that mum was now ready for bed and in her chair watching her TV (she has a small mark on her back and mark on her face)

I told Daphne that we would be in to see mum tomorrow.

Daphne said that she had put her slippers on top of the wardrobe as they were very worn and the bottom was hanging off and could we get her a new pair

Tuesday 6th December

Mum was having her hair done when we got to the care home, so we went up to her and she saw us and said 'Oh hello, how did you know?' I assumed she meant how did we know she was there, I told her that Tina had told us, she said 'who'.

We took her down to her room and put her TV on for her, she looked very well and happy, we sat and watched TV with her and also chatted, well she was talking to the TV.  I asked her if Michael has been into see her, she said 'he's dead, isn't he?' I told her that 'No' he was fine and not dead! she said 'Oh! good'

We walked her along to the dining room, she stopped to talk to the chap who does the maintenance jobs, she said hello to him and he told us that mum talks to him every time she sees him.

We got a nice phone of her with Karen, her favourite carer.

There is a new lady called Daisy who mum seems to be friendly with, we left her sitting with Daisy at the dining room table waiting for her lunch.

They have entertainment this afternoon (Trevor the guitarist, who, we were told,  is going to serenade them!)

I text Teresa and told her that mum had a tumble and that we had been in today and she was fine.  

Wednesday 7th December

I phoned and ordered 2 new pairs of slippers for mum, they are being delivered to her at the care home, they will put her name in them for us.

Friday 9th December

Phoned and spoke to Jasmine and told her that mum would be getting a parcel through the post and that they would be her new slippers so would they open it and give them to mum and could they throw mums old slippers away.

Tuesday 13th December

We saw mum through the window, she was in the dining room, by the time we got in there she was looking out of the window, she seemed well but kept yawning, she was with Betty and Daisy (the new lady).

We sat in the dining room for a while, it felt like we were in some other world, all three were chatting about something different but were quite happy.  We took her along to her room so we could have some quiet time with her.  She wanted to go to the loo, so I took her, I had to go and find some dry padded knickers, it was quite a job getting them on her.  When Karen came in I got her to check that I had got them on the right way round!

We stayed with her for a couple of hours, she was tired, so we left her in her room watching TV.

Her new slippers had arrived and they fitted OK .

Tuesday 20th December

Mum was sitting in the chair at the end of the corridor, she was pleased to see us, we took her into her room and helped her open some Christmas cards and a couple of presents from her friend Bett, she was interested at first but soon lost interest.

Daphne came in to do mums eye drops and said that her left eye had been red and sore, the doctor came in and saw her and prescribe some eye ointment.  we stayed with her for a couple of hours and left her watching TV, she was quite content.

On Monday we had seen Charlie and he said that he has been into see mum and had given her a big box of chocolates.  There wasn't any sign of them, he had given them to her in the dining room so she had probably shared them with everyone.

Left a copy of the photo of mum and Karen for Karen when she is next on duty.

Saturday 24th December

We saw Tina on the way into see mum, she said that mum had another upset tummy, they had noticed that she had been eating a lot of chocolates and sweets so they had put them all on top of her wardrobe. (the chocolates that Charlie had taken in to her had been put in the staff cupboard!)

Mum was in her room watching TV, she was pleased to see us.  I took her a couple of little presents to open but she wasn't really interested in them.

She asked John why he was there and he told her that he had come to see her, she looked at me and said 'what did you bring her for?' she did giggle, so hope that she didn't mean it..

Laura and John came in and they bought Sasha (their dog) in with them, she was pleased to see them all, she enjoyed us all being there and at one time put us in our place when we were all talking and said, 'don't forget I'm here as well'.

We left about 12.30 and walked her along to the dining room, her friend Daisy asked her where she had been, and said to mum 'you are my friend'.

Friday 30th December

Mum in her room, we took Herbie (the dog) in with us today, she was pleased to see him and kept asking us his name, he sat on her lap for a while and she grabbed hold of his tail.

She was really muddily today, she kept asking us where we lived and said that she could come to our house, we told her that we lived a long way away and that the last time she came she was very travel sick.

We stayed a couple of hours and left her in her room.
 

Tuesday 1st November - Monday 28th November 2011... Mums health starting to go downhill

Tuesday 1st November 2011

Mum was in the lounge watching TV when we arrived, she didn't know who we were at first but got very excited when she finally realised.  She looked very pale and was very muddily, she rambled a lot today.

Jessica was ranting and raving about 'that woman' had hit her with a magazine, she said that she's in there with her daughter, I realised that she meant me and mum.  I asked Tina if something had happened and she told me that Jessica was talking about mum, apparently mum and Jessica had been arguing and mum had hit her with the magazine she had been holding in her hand, she said that Jessica had been causing a lots of problems and was being moved onto a new home tomorrow.  Mum had never liked her as she had upset mum the first time they had met.  The incident had to be put in the 'incident book' made me smile to think of mum in the 'naughty' book.

Mum wouldn't be seeing the doctor until Thursday, Tina said that she would definitely see him then, she was happier today although she had another upset tummy last night.

I was talking to Tina, who is in charge this week as Daphne on holiday, she was very stressed, I asked her what she thought of the home and she said that she had worked for several but Park View was the best one, I told her that I was impressed with how many staff they had on in each shift as other homes we had looked at only seemed to have a couple of staff on at any one time.

We walked mum along to the dining room so she could get seated at the table for lunch.  We told her we would see her later and she was quite happy when we left.

Left a message on Teresa's phone about mum not seeing the doctor until Thursday.

Phoned Daph and she said that they would go in either Thursday or Friday and would phone me and let me know how she was.

Thursday 3rd November

Phoned to see if mum had seen the doctor, Tina told me that he is going to put mum on high energy drinks to try and build her up, he is not sure why she is still upset as they had done tests and all were normal, he suggested getting the dietitian in to sort out a diet for mum, Tina said that she would talk to Daphne on Monday, when she is back from her holiday, about the dietitian.

Tina said that she was fine and quite happy.

Friday 4th November

Daph phoned, they had been into see mum she said that they had sat around the table with Britt, Joyce and Betty, she was well but quite muddily, she had talked a lot, she couldn't remember that we had been in to see her on Tuesday, when Daph mentioned John, she asked her who he was and she told her that he was my husband, she looked surprised and said 'is she married then?'.

She is not on energy drinks yet, as waiting for the prescription to come from the chemist.

Tuesday 8th November

Mum was at the hairdressers having a perm, so we went up to see her, Elaine was just rinsing the perm solution of and rolling mums hair up, so when she had finished she put a scarf over the rollers so that we could take mum down to the dining room. We met Karen, who was just bringing one of the other ladies up to have her hair done, so she helped us take mum down in the lift, which was quite a feat, as we couldn't get her into it, she was very wobbly and we couldn't get her to step in, it took quite a few times before we finally got her in..

When we got back to the unit she asked us if she was in Hawkhurst, we told her that she was! She was very muddled and rambling today and her attention span was almost nil! it was a very hard visit as she kept looking out of the window.  She asked me where her mum was and I told her that she wasn't with us anymore, she just said 'Oh' and then asked me where my mum was, I told her that she was my mum she just laughed and said 'am I'.

Just after 12 we took her back up to the hairdresser and told her that we would see her later.

I found it a hard and depressing visit today.  I had a word with Daphne, she said that mum is not liking her energy drinks but they are encouraging her to have them, when I said about what Tina said about the dietitian, she said that the doctor has to arrange that.  Tina told me that she had eaten a jam sandwich for her breakfast and she did nibble at 2 biscuits and had half a cup of tea while we were there.. I will not let this go, every time we visit or are in contact I will badger and ask about mums appetite, they must not ignore it, she has lost a lot of weight and we are worried about it.

Friday 11th November

We went in for a quick visit, we took in some bits for the Christmas fair and left some cash for mum..  We took Herbie with us to see her, he was a hit with all the old ladies and mum was pleased to see him, she looked a lot brighter than she did on Tuesday.  Daphne told us that the doctor had seen her yesterday and had taken her off of the antibiotics that she has been taking for her UTI's also the Omeprazole, as they can both cause tummy upsets, she told me that she had eaten something.  She had her lunch in her room and I got her to eat a little of it,  JJ said that if she had been left on her own she wouldn't have eaten anything, as she hadn't got a clue how to use the knife and fork... we left just after 1.30pm, Justina took mum some pudding (jam sponge and custard) I expect that she will eat that..!!!

Wednesday 16th November

Mum was having tea and biscuits when we arrived, she was pleased to see us and looked much better, her speech has got a lot worse and it was hard to understand what she was trying to say to us.  JJ managed to make her laugh a few times.  We stayed for a couple of hours.

I had a phone call from Teresa to say that mum has had a fall and that she was fine, she is going in to see her on Friday and would let me know how she is.  Michael is going in at the weekend. She will be away next week.

Thursday 17th November

I phoned and spoke to Tina, she said that mum had a fall in the corridor and that she has a small bruise on her bottom. Mum said that her legs had crossed! Tina joked with mum asking her 'what are you doing down there Annie' mum just laughed, she said that mum was in good spirits and was eating well and they are keeping an eye on her.

Tuesday 22nd November

We are were going to taking Bett in with us today but she had phoned to say that she wasn't very well, she was going to take in some birthday presents in with her for mum.  I told her that we would pick them up from her on Thursday and take them in when we go in on Friday, which is her birthday.

Mum was in her room watching TV, Tina told us that she didn't want to go anywhere else today, she looked tired but was pleased to see us, although, until I bent down to kiss her she didn't realise it was me.  I took her in some homemade cakes and she manage to eat half of one.  Daphne came in with some post that was addressed to mum and asked if Teresa had told me that mum had another UTI and that she was on antibiotics again  (I didn't know anything about it).

While I was in the loo the doctor, nurse and Daphne came in. The doctor just looked at mum and said nothing and walked back out again!.  I went and caught him in the corridor and asked him about mum, he said that mum was on a course of antibiotics and when she has finished those she will then got on a maintenance dose of antibiotics (  I don't feel very impressed with the home doctor).

Mum was very tired, we watched some TV with her and left about 12ish.

Thursday 24th November

Phoned to see how mum was, I spoke to Daphne, she said that mum was a lot better and that she had eaten a dinner and a pudding, I told her that I didn't think that we would be able to get in to see her tomorrow and she told me that she would get the chef to make mum a birthday cake.

Monday 28th November

Mum was in the dining room, I suggested we go to her room as she had some presents to open, if we had stayed in the dining room all the others would have wanted to open then and we wanted mum to open them herself.  Her TV was on and her table was missing.  Mervyn came in with a cup of tea for her, so I asked him if he could find mum another table.

We put her cards on her window sill and helped her open her presents, she had a nice tin of biscuits, which we opened and she had one with her tea, she had also been given some chocolate eclairs which I thought she would have trouble eating but she happily chewed one.

Peggy (one of the residents) came wondering into mums room, she was still in her nightie which had porridge all down the front of it, we couldn't get her to go, so I went and asked Daphne if someone could help us with her, she was quite 'off' with me and told me that everyone was busy! Karen was on her tea break, Mervyn was doing the teas and Tina was at a training class... I was a little cross and told her 'don't worry, I'll get Mervyn'  I went into the dining room and Karen was there, she came back with me and took Peggy off.

We closed the door and sat with mum watching TV, she seems to think that she knows everyone on the screen, she was very happy but rambling.  I find it very upsetting that she finds it so difficult to communicate now,  it must be so frustrating for her.

We took her along to the dining room before we left so that she could have her lunch, she was quite happy when we left.

We both feel that the atmosphere has changed in the home the last couple of visits, the staff all seem to be discontented.








  

Sunday 2nd October - Monday 31st October 2011.. Mum suffering from Upset Tummy

Sunday 2nd October 2011

Michael picked me up at 1.30pm and we went and picked Teresa up, we finally got to mum at 3pm, it confused mum that we were all there together, she looked at me and asked me where Horace was (she meant JJ).

We took her to her room and Karen got her changed and ready for us to take her out, she was pale and red eyed when we got there but cheered up while we were out, we took her to the Outlet centre.  Michael pushed her around in the wheelchair, she enjoyed looking in the shop widows and watching all the people walking by. We stopped at a cafe and sat outside and she had some cake (only managing to eat half of it) and a cup of tea, she only managed to drink a little, the rest she threw on the ground, we were glad that we had sat outside!.  She talked a lot, she got very frustrated about not getting the right words out.

We got her back just before 5pm, just in time for supper, when we opened the door of the unit she said, 'Oh good' and seem relieved to be back ,  she was really tired and they gave her supper in the lounge.  We left her eating her soup, sandwiches and a few crisps

Karen told us that she would like to have 30 Annies and she is great to look after and has a good sense of humour..

(I do notice that the foreign carers are nowhere near as caring as the English girls)

Wednesday 5th October

Teresa phoned to say she had been into see mum and that she still has a tummy upset, stiff neck and a cold, she was rambling quite a lot but she seemed happy in herself, she got them to do a urine test to see if she had another water infection but they said that all was OK. They also want to take a stool sample.

She hasn't been eating very well but Teresa managed to get her to eat a little ice cream.

Mum wanted to know where I was as she said that she hadn't seem me for such a long time!

Thursday 6th October

Mum recognised us as soon as we got in the door and said to Karen, this is my daughter, she was pleased, as always to see us, she told us that her neck was stiff. She looked well and said a few funny things which made us laugh, she mentioned Hawkhurst and work, I asked her if she had been strawberry picking, she looked really puzzled, so I told her that she also used to clean for Mr and Mrs Staypleton-Smith, he eyes lit up and she asked it they were OK.

I noticed that she didn't have her teeth in,  Karen went and got them and we had a giggle as Karen tried to put them in for her, we were talking about us as children and JJ was trying to get mum to write her name down, she could only manage the A. JJ wrote her name down and she recognised Annie but not Ditton, when we told her that her surname was Ditton and that was her married name, she asked us 'why did I get married'!

Mum is really fond of Karen and every time she walked past she tried to get her attention, she was yawning and JJ said 'did you get up early'  and she said 'yes' JJ asked her why she had done that and she replied that she had wanted to 'fart' (not a word she would have used before her illness).

Mum asked us where we lived so I asked her where she lived and she said 'here, I wouldn't go any where else' we left her in the dining room waiting for her lunch.

It was a very amusing visit.

Mum had eaten some supper and also breakfast, mum seems to be a popular resident with all the staff       (Karen told me that they had taken a stool sample but results would take a while to come back)

Friday 7th October

Daph phoned, she was with mum, she asked me if mum had been complaining about her shoulder, I said that she hadn't complained about her shoulder but her neck and that the staff were aware of it.

Daph phoned when she got back, she said that mum was in good spirits and looked really well apart from complaining about her shoulder, she walked with them to the door when they left, Karen came and go her as they were worried that she would follow them out.

Friday 14th October

We saw mum down the corridor trying to get Jasmines attention, I think that she wanted to go to the toilet. We went up to her and said hello to her, she was relieved to see us, I took her to her room, I told Jasmine that she wanted to go to the toilet and she said that she would get a member of staff to help her but I took her myself, she had a terrible upset tummy. I went and asked for a member of  staff to come and change her, eventually someone came.  (I was not particularly happy with the situation and wondered what would have happened if we hadn't come along).

She wanted to sit in her room, it was lovely and sunny, she was really muddily and confused and told us that 'they wouldn't take any notice of me'.

The staff told me that she had been tearful on Tuesday, her tummy upset is beginning to drag her down, I think that she may have yet another UTI.  I spoke to Jasmine and she told me that they had tried to take a water sample in the week but because of her upset tummy it was hard to do one.

We stayed with her for a couple of hours, we sat with her and looked through her photo albums with her and watched a little TV, we took her along to the dining room, she was reluctant to let us go but we told her that we would see her later, it is hard leaving her when she is like this.

I text Teresa and told her mum was muddled and has still got her tummy upset, she said that she was like that the day before when she went in but she had been quite happy, she is going in with Michael on Sunday and will let me know how she is, I told her that we would be going in on Tuesday.

Saturday 15th October

Phoned to see how mum was, I spoke to Tina, she said that mum was quite happy but not eating properly and still had a tummy upset, I told her that when we went in yesterday I had spoken to Jasmine and she said that they had been unable to do a water test because of her tummy upset,she said that she hadn't been told anything about that and thinks that mum should see the doctor and would put her on the list to see him on Tuesday, she said that she would have a word with Daphne to see if she needs to see him earlier.  Tina thinks that she can be given medicine to stop her tummy being upset.  She said that mum does like to spend more time in her room these days.

I told her that we would be in on Tuesday and perhaps we may be able to see the doctor.

Sunday 16th October

Teresa text to say that they had been into see mum today and she still had her tummy upset, she looked very pale but she would be seeing the doctor on Tuesday, she would probably go in again on Wednesday.  I text back and said that I knew that she would be seeing the doctor and we would go in on Tuesday and hopefully be able to see him.

Tuesday 18th October

Mum was in her room having her eye drops put in, she looked a bit sad and talked a lot of rubbish, she thought that the chap on the TV was talking to her, she was a bit muddled, she told us that she was so glad that we were there.  The doctor came in and he prescribed some medication to stop her upset tummy, hopefully they will start to worked quickly and that she gains some energy.

We took her in some sweets, which she enjoyed, the longer we were there the happier she was, we decided that, as she is spending more time in her room we would get her a better TV ( Text Michael and Teresa, Micheal phoned later on and said that getting her a new TV was a good idea) .

We took her along to the dining room to have her lunch and told her we would see her later, she was very sad about us going but when we waved at her through the dining room window she was happy and smiling.

Friday 21st October

We went into Currys in Tunbridge Wells and got mum a new TV with freeview, the old one is not digital and would be obsolete in a few months time.

Tuesday 25th October

Mum was talking to Betty in the dining room, we stood watching her for a while and then I called her and she turned round and was really pleased to see us.  We took her new TV into her room and JJ set it up for her but she hadn't got a clue that it was different! she was pleased that we were with her and was quite happy for us to just sit with her.  She kept trying to to look at my hand and hold it, she kept saying that she was glad that we were there, she said that she was bored, so we took her to Ham Street garden centre, we had a look round and then went into the cafe for cake and a cup of tea she really wasn't interested in either.

When we took her back she asked if we were in Hawkhurst I told her that 'No' this is where you live, I have decided that I will just say 'yes' next time she asks.  When we got back into the unit she was really relieved. Mervyn told her that he had kept her some dinner, we sat her in the lounge and Mervyn brought her dinner into her, we said that we had to go and she said 'are you coming back later' and we said that we would.

Friday 28th October

Phoned and spoke to  Daphne, mum is still having episodes of upset tummy, she had been give 2 tablets today and she was eating little but often, if no better by Tuesday she will get the doctor to see her again, he may want to send her for further investigations.

Daphne says that mum loves her new TV and she is in her room more.  I told her that we would be in on Tuesday and hopefully be able to talk to the doctor again.

Monday 31st October

Teresa phoned to say that she had been in to see mum today and that she was very depressed and she still had a tummy upset, I told her that I had phoned on Friday and that Daphne had said that mum would be put on the list to see the doctor again tomorrow.  Teresa was worried that mum had 'given up' I said that the constant tummy upsets must be awful for her as she has had it for such a long time it must be getting her down and making her depressed.

I told her that we would be going in tomorrow, she said that Michael was away in Italy at the moment so she hadn't seen anyone over the weekend, so she would go in another day this week.

I told her that I would text her tomorrow or leave a message on her answer phone to let her know how mum is.

Thursday 1st September - 29th September 2011 .. A little bit more of mum is leaving us .

Thursday 1st September 2011

Mum was very distant when we arrived, she was not really very 'with it', she had a catalogue on her lap but she couldn't name any of the things in it, John pointed to an iron and asked her what it was and she said ' it's shit!'.

We took her outside as it was a lovely day but she didn't want to stay out very long, she said that she was chilly, she also said that it didn't seem right!  We took her back in as she said that she was very tired, we found her a nice comfy chair and left her in the lounge and told her to have a nap before lunchtime.

Monday 12th September

We haven't been in to see mum for over a week but had phoned and spoken to Tina who said that she was fine, she had a couple of bad days where she she hated everyone but that's nothing unusual.

She was in the dining room in the armchair, we stood at the door and it took her a few minutes to realise we were there to see her, she looked well and quite happy, she talked a lot and asked me several things that I couldn't understand, I answered yes a couple of times but got caught out saying yes in the wrong place!... She asked me about Uncle Charley and I had to tell her that he had died several years ago.

She did make us laugh when JJ asked her is she could read she looked at him and called him a 'cheeky bugger'.  Unfortunately, Betty then came into the room and took over quite a lot, mum answered her sometimes but most of the time mum looked at her with a bemused look on her face, although Betty can be amusing it can take it's toll on you sometimes.

We asked mum how many children she had, she said that she didn't know so we told her that she had 3, she looked really surprised and said 'have I'  and she said that she didn't know that.  It was tea and cake time while we were there, mum was trying to give her cake away, which we have noticed happening quite a lot with her food,she also is always asking how much she has to pay for it.

We stayed for an hour,  it was very, very hot there which we both found uncomfortable, so we left mum and told her we would see her later, she was quite happy about us going.

Wednesday 21st September

Mum was on her own in the lounge, I walked in and she looked at me and said  'have you come to see me'  I said 'yes, do you know who I am?'. she said . 'you are my darling.......'  I told her that I was her daughter and she said of course you are, she looked really well, she talked a lot but not one sentence made any sense.

She laughed a lot and told us she was pleased to see us, we were watching the TV and she pointed to the screen and said 'Oh! look at that cow' (it was a horse!).  She asked once again where we lived, so JJ asked her where she lived and she said 'here'.  Her attention span is getting less each time we visit, every time someone walked up the corridor her attention moved from us to them.  She said that she hadn't been down there, meaning the corridor, I told her that was where her room was, she said that she didn't go in it, so we asked her where she went to sleep she said that she never went to sleep.

We walked her along to the dining room, everyone we past talked to us and mum was surprised that they knew us, she gets a little jealous when they talk to us and not her.  She was quite happy when we left.

Wednesday 28th September

I phoned and spoke to Daphne to see how mum was, she is fine but she had been suffering from and upset tummy and she was keeping herself to herself and staying in her room, she reassured me that mum was OK . She told me that mum was seeing the chiropodist later on today.  I explained that we had been unable to get in as we didn't have the car for a few days as it was being repaired.

Thursday 29th September

I phoned Michael and asked if I could go in with him to see mum at the weekend as we wouldn't have the car back until next Friday, he said that he would pick me up.  He said that last week he had taken mum around Tescos they had got a cake and then gone to the park, he said that she had mentioned The Moor and said to him that she didn't expect that she would ever go back to her house!