Saturday 17th - Friday 23rd July 2010

Saturday 17^th July 2010

Phoned Tusker House in Hastings and spoke to Teresa Butler, I asked her if it would be Ok to come in on Monday after 2.30pm to take a look around, she said that would be fine and the Manager, Paula Woolgar would be there, she told me that they care for all stages of Dementia, from early to late stages, they have space and the fees start at £431.00 per week, she was very helpful and nice on the phone.

I texted both Michael and Teresa and related to them all the information that she had given to me and confirmed to them the time and day we could go for a visit to look around the home.

Sunday 18^th July  

Daph phoned to say they all went out for lunch today, mum had been over to them twice this morning, once at 9am, they were both out with the dog but Deirdre (mums neighbour) had seen her go over and told mum that they were out.  Daph just really ring to say that she taken £10.00 from mums’ purse to pay for her lunch.

Monday 19^th July

Michael picked me up and the three of us went to look at Tusker House in Hastings, the proprietor, Paula was very informative but when we looked around we all thought that it wasn’t the right place for mum, the bedrooms were kept locked all the time and a care worker had to go to the room with them to unlock the room, the corridors were very dark and narrow and it shocked me how sad all the residence looked, I was told that they had had activities in the morning and so they were all tired, I suppose it was the first home we looked at and it dawned on me the illness mum has.

I gave Teresa a list of 4 other homes for her to phone and make appointments to look round, I also gave her the home directories for her to look through.

I phoned Daph and told her about the visit to Tusker House, she told me that mum had been up to her friend Betts and had forgotten her walking stick so Bett had loaned hers to mum again!

Mum had gone into Budgens but she said that they wouldn’t serve her as she didn’t have enough money, she told Daph that she had lots of money but when Daph looked in her pocket she had  40p in 2p’s  she said that she had lost her purse so had taken the money from the pot of change. She helped mum look for her purse and found it in the bin in the front room.

Tuesday 20^th July

Got to mums early, the back door was slightly open and when we walked in she said ‘where have you been, I was going to start walking over to your house!’ she was in her usual muddle!

I helped her have a bath and had to change her sheets as she had an accident in the night; I went through her clothes and threw out a couple of tops that were really badly marked.

We took Betts walking stick back to her we got a lift from Jean (mums friend) up to the village. Mum was embarrassed about going into Budgens she said that she couldn’t go back in after the mishap with the money yesterday.  John picked us up he had picked some flowers and put them on her table in front room, she said yet again that she might as well come home with us, I had to say not today mum we will be over on Friday (It is hard keep saying no, but I must be strong).

We left her watching TV and gave her a glass of Lambrusco

Wednesday 21^st July

Town and Country carers phoned to say that the carer was at mums and she wasn’t there.  I phoned Daph and she was there and they were sending her back home.  I phoned the carers back and told them mum was on her way back.

Thursday 22^nd July

I phoned Town and Country and cancelled carer for Friday lunchtime as mum was coming here for the day.

Teresa phoned to say mum was in a terrible state today, she had lost her purse and didn’t have any money, I gave her a list of lots of places for her to look for it.

Teresa and Lissa had seen mum in the village when they drove through so they parked the car and went to meet her, she told them that she didn’t have any money, Teresa told her not to worry as she had some.  When they went into Budgens the greeter chap at the door told her that mum had been in twice today without any money.

Teresa phoned both The Priory at Pembury and the care home in Ashford, The Priory hasn’t got any vacancies but the home at Ashford has one.  The Priory said to go and have a look round anyway; we are going, if Michael is free, on Monday afternoon.

Teresa told me that Michael is having mum on Sunday instead of Saturday  ( I texted him and asked him if that is what he was doing because the carers would have to be told, he text back and said that he thought that was  what he would be doing but he would let me know later.

I was given the phone number for Larchmere Home as a possible care home for mum> I phoned them but was told that a single room would cost £825.00 per week as it was a nursing home and mum would be better in a residential home as nursing care is more expensive.

I phoned Verity Buckle from the Friendship club as mum had been there yesterday and wondered mum had left her purse there and someone had handed it in, had to leave a message on her answer phone as she wasn’t there, when I put the phone down there was a message on our answer phone from Teresa to say that she had found mums purse in her bedroom dressing table drawer under her knickers!.

Friday 23^rd July

We picked mum up at 9am she didn’t seem too bad today, she slept a lot of the time while she was here, she ate a good dinner and pudding, we had to go to Tunbridge Wells so we took her with us, when we got down by the Pantiles she said ‘You used to live down here’ which we did in the 70’s she then looked at John and said ‘was it with you or someone else!’ which we both found funny.

She tried to tell me that Teresa and Lissa had been over to see her yesterday; she said her sister and a very nice girl visited her.

We got her home just after 3pm