15th March 2010..Mums appointment with Dr Asprey

Monday 15^th March

John and I got to mums at 11.30am, she was waiting by the door, she opened the front door and said the she thought that we weren't coming and she said 'I thought bugger 'em I'll go out'. Her appointment with Dr Asprey was at 2pm, I gave her a meal that I had taken over for her.

Micheal came over at 12.30pm and we sat talking while we had a cup of tea, Mum looked at him and asked him who he was, he told her he was her son and she well what's your name and when he told her it's Michael she said of course it is, she then said to him 'well who is your dad 'and he said 'your husband' she couldn't remember dads name, she knew who I was but not Teresa.

We got to her appointment in good time. Dr Asprey was really nice and I introduced her to Michael

she had a little talk with us and mum .. mum was confused. She has recommended Park Lodge Alzheimer's Society who would get in touch with me re: someone going into mum and spending about 2 hours with her doing things that she likes to do ie: baking, playing cards, looking at photo's visiting Garden Centres or anything else that she like doing, there is a small charge for this, but she was not sure how much it was .

Dr Asprey asked mum if there was anything that she wanted to ask her and of course she said No, She also asked Michael that, as it was the first time that he had been in with mum was there anything that he would like to ask her, he said that life must be very mundane for mum. Dr Asprey explained that mums mind does not function like his and that 2 hours activity is enough for her to cope with.

Dr Asprey asked mum if she was coping at home or would she rather go into a Residential Home, mum was confused about this, so I tried to explain to her what Dr Asprey meant she said that she wanted to stay at home

I signalled to Dr Asprey that it was difficult to talk while mum was there, so her Assistant took mum off to do some tests to see if there was any change in her condition. Michael got up and said that he would go with her but Dr Asprey told him to stay, as mum had to do the test on her own. Her new score was 10 out of 32 her score last time was 11, Dr Asprey explained that most people with that score are in a Residential Care Home.

While mum was out of the room I was able to tell Dr Asprey that a few weeks ago mum was really bad, much more confused, hallucinating, dressed in wrong clothes etc, she seems to think that mum has had another little vascular stroke or even infection, as she is prone to UTI's.

Micheal said that mum is different with him than she is with me and Dr Asprey said that is probably because she doesn't see him so often and said that because she sees me more often she will be more irritable with me and say what she thinks, but it is the illness not the real her.

She recommended that we go and start to look at Care Homes and put mums name down because they have lists and even if mums name comes up and she isn't ready to go, at least she will stay on the list for the future.

I told Dr Asprey that mum looks a lot better that she did a few weeks ago, I asked her if that was normal, she told me that sometimes they try and put on an act which makes them worse and then they stop trying, which in a way makes them better, she is pleased that mum goes out but said that when things get bad, people can try and find the house where they were born.. also they can do weird things like try and cut electricity wires! If they are just happy to sit then that is much better, we will have to see how things go.

She also explained that people can sometimes feel afraid at nights, which is how mum is at times, she did explain that when people go into a care home the hallucinations and hearing voices stop as they feel a lot safer, also there is more going on for them.

When we left she said that she would see mum again in 6 months time.

We took mum out for a cup of tea and cake on the way home which she enjoyed,

We got her home and I gave her medications to her..we left her munching away at her chocolates that she had been given for Mothers day

10th March - 15th March 2010

Wednesday 10^th March 2010

Phoned and cancelled the tea time carer for Monday 15^th as mum has a hospital appointment.

Had to phone Russett homes again to sort out the outstanding bill for the extra lifeline pendant that mum had mislaid, this should be paid straight out of mums bank account, I was told that this would be sorted today

Had a phone call from Daph to say that mum had been over to them and asked them what time are they coming..after a while Daph realised she meant her appointment on Monday to see Dr Asprey. She was very confused and said she was going up to see her friends Lil and Freda, Daph said that the best thing was for her to phone them and see if they were in, which she did and they weren't in so Daph suggested that she stayed with them for a cup of tea and would ring them again later, Mum said that they were probably at their club, (The Friendship club) she said that she would like to go there too. When Daph phoned later they still weren't in, but mum insisted that she wanted to go up to the shop anyway as she needed some shopping, when she asked mum what she needed she said 'new glasses' Daph told her that she couldn't just go in and buy them.

She had lost her glasses so though that she would get new one while up the shop, her glasses were found in her purse, She insisted that she needed shopping even though I had done her shopping the day before, she also complained that she was bored and was fed up with just sitting in there...meaning her house. She told Daph that she would like to go to the Friendship club as it would be better that up there...meaning Bowles day care centre..The Friendship club is once a fortnight on a Wednesday in the afternoon..

Thursday 11^th March

On the way down to mums we saw Daph who flagged us down and told us that she was just going up to mums friend Bett to pick up mums handbag as she had left it there on Wednesday,

When we got to mums she opened the door and the first thing she said was 'have you got my thingy? You know my whotsit' I asked her if she meant her handbag and she said 'Yes that's it' I told her that she had left it at Bett's and that Daph was on her way up to get it for her.

Mum complained that she didn't have any money, John looked in her pot in the cabinet where we had left £20 and that had gone. John gave her the £20 that we had saved from her money and she sat clucking it in her hand. When she got her handbag back we found her purse,which had quite a lot of change in it and we also put the £20 in it.

She had lost here glasses yet again, we looked everywhere for them and couldn't find them but we were sure that they would turn up.

I talked over mum going to the Friendship club with Daph and we both thought that it would be a good idea for her to go as she has lots of friends that go there

Saturday 15^th March

Mum was very bright when we got over to her, her back door was unlocked but she the wrong keys in the back door leading into the garden, she didn't want to go out but did ask me if I could help her have a bath, I also collected the washing that was laying around the house and put it into the machine, she had found her glasses.

She got a little confused and we didn't quite get what she was trying to tell us but she was looking at the armchairs and sofa and said 'there are 3 there, there, and there!!!'

I reminded her that we were going to see Dr Asprey on Monday she said already I thought that it was a long time yet. I told her that I would go over early and help her get ready

1st March - 9th March 2010

1st March 2010

Mums carer phoned me to apologise for not contacting me regarding the decision to change mums diet and in future, if there are any problems she would contact me but she insisted that mum is better with soft food but then told me that mum had only wanted chips for her dinner tonight so she had cooked them for her!!!! we will see how things go and if mum has more problems with swallowing her food  I will contact mums doctor to see if she needs to take more omeprazole

2nd March 2010

Mum was quite perky this morning and very 'with it' she asked me if she had to pay her carers as she didn't know if she had to give them any money, I tried to explain that she gets a benefit from the government that covers their cost - I'm not sure if she really understood but she seemed OK with what I had told her, I told her never to hand over any money to anyone.

I helped mum do her shopping and made sure that she had plenty of food in the freezer and cupboards, while were shopping mum insisted on buying cream cakes and while she was eating hers she had a coughing fit, she got quite upset but I managed to calm her down and she was OK.

The morning carer who came the day before had written in the carers book that mum had come down with her vest on top of her jumper and that she had also left her back door key in the lock outside.

Mum has asked several times about her appointment with Dr Asprey she seems really worried about it. I told her it is all sorted and that I would tell her in plenty of time when we are due to go.

I contacted mums doctor about her coughing fits and belching she has prescribed a tablet called Domperidone (10mg) to be taken twice a day which will be added to the tray of drugs at the chemist for next delivery, she said that it could be one of the next stages of the dementia (coordination problems) suggests that her food be cut into smaller pieces, we will monitor the situation and see how things go she may need a stronger dose so could I keep her informed

Before we left I got her a sandwich and a Lambrini and lemonade, she had 3 letters to sort out which she had got in a state about so I took them home and sorted them out to stop her worrying about them.

4th March 2010

We went over to mum to pick her up, she had sort of remembered that we were taking her out, apart from the usual confusion she was OK.  We took her to the garden centre she got herself some plants and were brought her back to our house for lunch, she had trouble eating  her lunch as she didn't have her teeth in as she had lost them (again) .  When we got her home she wanted a glass of wine when we looked in the cupboard she had only a dribble left in the bottle so we had to open a new bottle (we must keep an eye on her drinking!!)

6th March 2010

Mum was in good spirits, her usual confusion but very chirpy and happy, she had been to the hairdressers the day before and looked really nice, but she had a very dirty top on and had forgotten to put her bra on so I helped her get sorted. 

She thought that we were taking her out and I had to tell her that 'No we wouldn't be able to take her out today' she wasn't very happy with that, we walked up to the village with her and got her a little shopping, we had a cup of tea with her before we left.

9th March 2010

When we got to mums she was waiting for us by the door and said that she was wondering where we were it was only 8am! I gave her breakfast and her medication did a few jobs for her and helped her have her bath.

It was her brothers birthday so I helped her write a card for him and we got him a bottle of wine when we were in the village, we went over to him and she asked for a glass of wine so he gave her a very weak martini and lemonade, she was finding it very hard to follow our conversation .

When we got back to her house she had a orchid delivered which Teresa had sent from Australia, she was a bit confused about it and couldn't understand why she had received it, I explained that it was for mothers day

15th February - 27th February..Mum finding it hard to cope

Monday 15th February 2010

We picked mum up for take her to the foot clinic, she was really confused and hyperactive.  She asked if she was staying at our house for the day, we said if that is what she wanted to do then that was Ok, after about an hour she said that she needed to go shopping and she had no food!!! I tried to tell her she had plenty of food in the cupboards, fridge and freezer but she just kept saying that she didn't, in the end we took her to the supermarket where she got a lot of shopping. I got tired of telling her that she didn't need anything, so in the end I just went along with her and let her buy it.
When we got her home she just kept on about somewhere where all of us were going, I just couldn't understand what she was talking about and in the end she said that she had probably dreamed it.
We also noticed that she had put chairs and a bin by her back door in case anyone tries to get in

Tuesday 16th February   

Mum had tried to make tea in the kettle she had 4 teabags in the bottom of it.

Wednesday 17th February   

Had a phone call from Daph, saying that when she went out of her gate to go up the village she saw mum walking up the road it was 2.30pm she was supposed to be at the day centre she told Daph that she didn't want to go and when they phoned her to see if she was Ok she told them that she wasn't going as she wasn't well, she asked mum why she was going up to the shop and she said that she needed apples and then changed it to bread. Daph told her that I had got her shopping yesterday that I had got her some bread.

Thursday 18th February

Had a chat with mum about not going to the day centre she said that she just didn't want to go and when we challenged her she got very upset and very muddly, she obviously needed our company so we stayed with her for a while. She said that she had been trying to ring us for days, when we looked at the carers book we noticed that the carer hadn't turned up until 12.10pm instead of 10.15am to take her to day centre, mum got so upset that in the end I phoned and cancelled the day centre,  I had to also phone social services to tell them that mum didn't want to go

Saturday 20th February        

I phoned and asked mum if she would like to come over, John picked her up, when he arrived she had lost her glasses and her teeth, she was very muddly.

 While she was sitting in our lounge with John she told him she had seen a bus go through the lounge. John told her that a bus couldn't so through the house, but she was adamant she had seen one.

When we got her home we had a hunt round for her glasses and teeth, I found them in her bed wrapped in a hankie

Tuesday 23rd February

When we got to mums house at 8am, she was dressed but her top was inside out, She was sitting in her front room with all the curtains all over the house pulled shut, she was surprised to see us and was very confused and thought it was night time, she thought that we had come to stay.
Mum had tried to make herself a cup of tea, we found the milk on the side and the lid of the kettle on the worktop, she couldn't remember how to do it so she had poured herself a cup of milk instead

When I went to bath her I found that she had soiled herself so had to wash her before helping her into the bath she was in a terrible state.

Thursday 25th February

Mum had her phone number book open at our number on the table, she was not sure if she had been trying to ring us or not, she actually looked well today, but not able to get her sentences out, John asked her if she had something to say to me today, she stopped what she was doing, stood thinking for a while and suddenly remembered it was my birthday.  We went over to Daph and Dibs to have tea and birthday cake but mum asked them for a Brandy instead we told her it was too early.
When we went to leave she asked if we could drop her in the village as she needed to go to the supermarket, I said that there wasn't anything that she needed but she insisted that she did, I was apprehensive about it but dropped her right outside the shop but decided that if we hadn't been there she would have probably gone anyway.

Saturday 27th February

Got to mum at 9.30am the door was unlocked she was really pleased to see us especially as we had taken the dog over with us, she had lost her purse, glasses and her stick, she complained that there wasn't any money in it anyway.  I found her purse with money £45.00 in it, she had put it in the cupboard on a plate.
I found her glasses but couldn't find her stick anywhere, while we were still looking she suddenly came in and said 'look what I have found'  it was her stick, we asked her where she had found it and she said 'I found it between the.......................' we never did find out where.
When we read the carers book we noticed that the carer had written that mum had been suffering from indigestion and she should be kept on soft food and that office and family aware.  I was fuming, we were not aware and felt that a carer has no right to tell us what we should feed mum.  I phoned the office and had a word with them saying that I was not happy they agreed that the carer should not make decisions like that, they asked me which carer it was I was a little apprehensive to say which one but I did in the end.  I left it that in the future if anything like this happens would they get in contact with me first before a decision is made. I also left a message in mums care book. 

One of the other carers had phoned my Auntie to say she had found an unopened bottle of Lambrini wine in the cupboard and they had decided to hide it from mum, I told then it was Ok for her to have it as I had got it for her