The Hunt for a care home has started!

Thursday 24^th June 2010

Spoke to Michael and Daph about the phone calls they received from Social Services on Wednesday 23th (we were away camping for the night)

Sharon Hale had phoned and said that mum had been passed by the board for finances for a Care home and also for Respite at West View for 2 weeks from 19^th July but she cannot go there permanently as they only have 3 places and there are 8 already on the waiting list, she advised us that they had a place coming up soon at Hartley House but a top up payment of £43.79 per week has to be paid by the family, the government only pay £431.00 towards the care home fees.

If mums goes into Hartley House, Sharon doesn't advise mum goes into West View for respite as it would confuse her going into two different places.

If we cannot afford the top up fees there are two care homes that do not have top up fees and they are The Hollies, Southborough and The Priory, Pembury she said that she would look in Sussex for any others.

Phoned and text Michael, he said that he could pay the lions share of the top up fee but not all of it!! he said that we should go and have a look at Hartley House.

Friday 25^th June

Text Michael and asked him if he has spoken to Teresa about the top up fees for care homes and also asked about when we were going to look around Hartley House, he text back to say that he had and we were going on Monday.

Went over to see mum in the afternoon I asked her if she would like a bath as it was so hot, she was really pleased that I had asked her, we brought her back here with us for lunch, (I phoned the carer and cancelled the lunchtime one) she enjoyed sitting in the garden and chatting, she said to me I have so much trouble up here, tapping her head, but she said that she liked sitting here with me..

When we took her home the engineer was there checking her boiler, a day early, good job that D was there!!!

Saturday 26^th June

Town and Country carers phoned to say that the lunch time carer couldn't get into mums house, she had tried both doors, it seemed like there was a key stuck on the other side of the lock, I tried to phoned mum but no reply. I remembered that Michael was taking her out so I phoned and spoke to Linda and she said that mum was with them. I explained to her about the carer not knowing that she would be out and she said that Michael had phoned the carers several times and no one had answered it only had an answer phone with the emergency number, I told her that he should have phone that and told them that mum would be with them.

Linda told me that he had left a note on the table. The trouble was the carer couldn't get in to see the note!!! I told her that in future the carer must be cancelled the day before as they need to know where mum is in case of accidents. I asked her if she could ask Michael if she would be back for the evening carer and she said that mum would be back by then, I asked if Michael could take a look at mums lock and sort out the key.

I phoned the carers and told them where mum was and that she would be back for the evening carer.

Phoned D and explained to her what had happened in case she got a call from the carers.

Michael phoned and apologised about not letting the carers know he said that he hadn't listened to the message on the answer phone properly. I explained that it was important for the carers to know where mum is as there may have been an accident or something else. We decided that it would be best to cancel the Saturday lunchtime carer and he said that he would do that.

I asked him about going to look around Hartley House and he said it would be Monday about 2ish

Monday 28^th June

Went to mums today instead of going tomorrow as I have a hospital appointment (I have arranged for a carer to come in the morning) the carer was there when we go there, mum was very confused and muddly she didn't seem to be able to put two words together that made any sense, I helped her have a bath and did some bits and pieces for her.

John did some weeding in the front garden while mum and I walked up to the supermarket. We got her some shopping. It was very hot and she said that her legs hurt, we got some strawberries which we had with ice cream when we got back.

We left her with her lunch and a glass of watered down wine..

Michael and Teresa picked me up at 2.30pm, we went and had a look around Hartley House. When we got there they told us that there wasn't any spaces at present only a possible, as they had a lady in hospital, but mum was not even on their list . We were led to believe by Social Services that they had got mum a place there!!! They took mums details and confirmed that she was now on their waiting list.

It is quite a nice place, rooms are smaller than the ones at West View but the staff seem nice and were caring, there was lots of space to wander around and a nice little garden, we got an info pack about the home.

Michael and Teresa told me that they would cover and top up fees that are needed at any care home.

Michael was going to phone Sharon Hale at Social Services to ask her advice on when to tell mum about the care home and also when a place come up how long would it be held open for, if we say no at that time would mums name be put at the bottom of the list or be taken of the list altogether.

Tuesday 15th June - Tuesday 22nd June 2010

Tuesday 15^th June 2010

When we got to mums I got her some breakfast and gave her medications to her, she seemed quite bright, did some bits and pieces around the house and after her bath we walked up to the village and got her shopping.

Daph phoned to say that Mary and Roger (mums sister and her husband) were going over and would we like to take mum over to see them and she could stay with them for lunch so before we went we took mum over to her house.

Thursday 17^th June

Michael picked me up and we went over to mums to sort out the finances with Social Services for her respite care, mum was surprised to see us, she had broken her kettle and I had to boil some water up in a saucepan for a cup of tea.

The lady from Social Services came and we complete the forms for cost for the respite care and care home finances. Michael signed as next of kin.

Before we left we popped up to the village and got mum a new kettle.

Saturday 19^th June

Town and Country cares phoned to say that mum was not at home, I explained that Michael was taking her out and that he was supposed to get her back for the lunchtime carer. I told them that I would get in touch with him but before I did they phoned back to say that they were back.

Sunday 20^th June

Daph phoned to say that my cousins Charlie and Shirley had picked mum up she was walking up the road on her way to the shops, she said that she was going up to get something for her dinner, Shirley told her that the supermarket was closed as it didn't open on Sundays, they took her home and got her a cup of tea.

Charlie went over to Daphs to see what he should do and she told him that Dib was just on his way over to pick her up to go to their house for lunch. So after having a cup of tea with her they walked her over to D & D's.

They hadn't seem mum for a while and they were both shocked how bad she was.

Monday 21^st June

Had a phone call from the carer to say that mum was not at home, all the doors were unlocked she went in and looked around but no mum

I phoned her friend Bett and mum was there with her and that mum had lost her stick so she had lent mum her old one.

I phoned Town and Country and told them that mum was at her friends she said that they would let mums carer know

Phoned D in the evening and she said that Dib had seen mum come down the road so have taken her to their house and given her some lunch.

Tuesday 22^nd June

Did they usual things for mums, took over some new underwear for her, ready for her respite care.

We walked up to the village and did her food shopping. phoned the carers and cancelled the carer for tomorrow lunchtime as mum is going on an outing with the Friendship club also phoned Robert Heath and asked them to ring Daph. 15 – 20mins before they arrive at mums on the 29^th as mum would need someone with her as she is very muddly and their visit would confuse her, they are coming to sort out the heating.

Tuesday 8th June - 14th June 2010

Tuesday 8^th June 2010

Forgot my key so had to knock on the front door, eventually mum let us in, she was very confused and said had we come to see how she was as she was just going to bed, I told her it was only 8am in the morning, she was convinced it was the evening. She kept saying that she had sat on the floor as everyone kept coming in and going to the toilet and when she got up she thought that she would fall over!

I got her some breakfast and gave her meds to her, she tipped her water in the pot with her tablets in, so I had to get her to get them out of the water and quickly take them – also when we got there she had a milk bottle half full with tea! She just made light of it when I asked about what she had done) I helped her have a bath.

She also told me that she couldn't remember which was her bed and that she had been up all night. I asked her if she had slept in her chair all night and she said that no she hadn't, when I went into her bedroom her bed was in a real mess and half stripped. I changed the sheet and made the bed up for her.

We walked up to the village and got her quite a bit of shopping, sorted out her money for her and left some in her purse and left some in the cabinet so when the other came in they could check her purse to see if she had any money for shopping etc.

We all went over to D & D's for coffee, we got back to her house at 12.15pm so we were back for

the carer.

She wasn't having any problems walking today. She is going to the Friendship club tomorrow.

Wednesday 9^th June

Michael phoned and said that Social Services had been in touch re-assessing mums finances for cost of respite care, got an appointment at mums 11am Thursday the 17^th, could I take all her bank account statement and pension details. Michael would pick me up at 10.30am.

Phoned Daph and she said that mum had been very confused and muddly today, she said that mum had been over to them several times but could not make Dib hear as he was in the back garden. They saw mum going down to the Friendship club just after 1.30pm which was too early, so they took her in for a cut of tea, mum said that she had two cups in her bag, when Daph looked she had her Sandles in her handbag. When they got back from taking her to the club, Deirdre (mums neighbour) called over to then asking if mum was in as she had left her french windows wide open!

When mum got back D took her homeand sorted her out and put her TV on.

Daph got a phone call from the evening carer to see if she had Teresa’s phone number as mum had said that she wanted to speak to her daughter. D phoned Michael and he said that he would get Teresa to phone her. She phoned mum while D was there, mum was very, very tearful. Michael went over and sat with her for a while. D phoned me and told me what had happened

I phoned Michael later in the evening to see how mum was and he said that she was fine when he left her, Teresa was at work so I couldn't get hold of her. Teresa going over on tomorrow, we are going on Friday and Michael on Sunday.

Thursday 10^th June

Phoned Town and Country carers to cancel the lunchtime carer for tomorrow as mum is coming here for lunch, I also cancelled the lunchtime carer for Monday 14^th as mum is going to the foot clinic.

Friday 11^th June

Phoned mum to remind her that we were picking her up this morning to bring her here for lunch, she said that she was just thinking about me, we picked her up at 10.30am she was muddly and it was difficult to understand what she was trying to say, but that is just how she is normally.

On the way home we took her to the garden centre she got a couple of plants, and we took her for a little ride round.

When we got back to her house John asked her if she had her key, I told her it was in her purse, instead of taking our her key she took our her small purse and said 'what this!' I told her No, not her purse her key she then took out 2 five pound notes .. eventually she found her key, she then complained that she didn't have any money and I had to get her purse out and show her that she had £40 in her purse and she said ' well that's not much.'

We left her watching football on the TV gave her a glass of wine and told her we would see her on Monday.

Monday 14^th June

Picked mum up to take her to her foot clinic appointment, when we got there she was in the garden, we couldn't find her purse we looked everywhere, when all of a sudden she said I know where it is, she opened the fridge and there it was.

When I read the carers book it said that on Saturday mum had had a 'little accident' and the carer had changed mums bedding and put it in the washing machine and that mum had slept in the other bedroom.

We brought mum here for lunch, she had a look round the garden and we got her to play a game of cards (rummy) she did quite well but after a couple of games she was tired, she kept seeing black flies again

Laura (my daughter) came in and mum was pleased to see her, Laura said 'I see that you have found your glasses Nan' mum said 'yes I have two eyes' Laura said I can see that you have' mum said 'of course I have!'

Laura took some photos... 

We got her home about 3.30pm and she said are you still coming tomorrow I told her of course we are.