Tuesday 21st December 2010
We were going to take mums friend Bett in with us to see mum today but she has hurt her back so she didn't want to, she was also worried about the slippery roads.
Mum was really good today, Daphne said that she was moving about a lot with her zimmer frame, they are worried that she may have another fall so they are keeping a close eye on her.
I managed to speak to the doctor and he said that mum was just on her eye drops and antibiotics, she recognised us and told one of the other ladies that I was her daughter, we sat for a while chatting in chairs by the carers desk and then we got her to go into the dining room where we sat round the table with all the other ladies and chatted.
It was really nice seeing this and she even managed to say several sentences that we understood. We stayed for a couple of hours and when we left she was sitting happily with the others.
When we were getting into the care we looked though the window we noticed that mum was getting up and on the move again!
Thursday 23rd December
Daph phoned to say that they had been into see mum and she didn't think that she was a good as when we saw her on Tuesday, she had taken her lots of Christmas cards and presents that everyone had sent in for her and the only one she reacted too was the one from Andrew and she asked them where he was, she said to Daph that she might as well go with them then!
Daph noticed that mum now had a pressure bed but not sure why!
Saturday 25th December
We didn't go into see mum today as Michael, Linda and the girls were going in to see her so we decided to go in tomorrow.
I phoned and left a message to say Happy Christmas to mum and to everyone in the unit, the carer told me that mum was well and walking around.
Sunday 26th December
We met Laura and John at the home just after 11am. I went in first and saw mum going into someone elses room I called her and told her we would go to her room, mum looked at me and said that we would have to pay to go in there and the carer said that 'No Annie everything has been paid for'
We went to her room and helped her open her Christmas presents, she hadn't a clue what was going on, John came in with Laura and John, she asked who John (C) was and seemed fascinated with him, Laura had made her some biscuits.
Mum managed to get some sentences out, she said something about 'Lil and all the others' we walked her up to the dining room she said something about that she could always phone Daph!
We sat round the dining table with Betty (one of the other residents) and mum had few chuckles, she seemed happy we stayed until lunch was going to be served. Joy one of the cares asked Betty if she would like a glass of Sherry so I asked if mum ever has a glass of wine, he said that he had asked her yesterday and she had said no, he whispered into her ear and asked her if she would like one and she said 'yes please' so he went and got her a small glass of wine, she took one sip and pulled a face and said that she didn't like it !!!!
Friday 31st December 2010
Mum was just about to have her bath when we got there, so I went and tidied her room up, found some name tags to put in her new clothes.
One of the other lady residents challenged me about being in mums room, I had to reassure her that it was OK and that it was my mums room.
Mum was pleased to see us when she came back to her room, she asked us where we were going, so John asked her what she would like to do, would she like to go out and she said that she would, I asked it it would be OK to take her out and they said that it was fine, we couldn't get her shoes on her so we left her slippers on . We managed to get her in the car, we only went for a little drive round but she enjoyed being out in the car, when we went through Ham Street she said that she thought that she had been there before. While we were out she asked John how old she was and when he told her 81 she said that she would have to go to the butchers!!!
She saw Karen when we got her back and her face beamed,she went and sat in the dining room with one of the other ladies and they were having a little laugh together.
I asked Karen about the pressure mattress on mums bed and she said she had it on because of a sore on her heel, the chiropodist had been in done her feet and had put cream on her heel and the district nurse is checking it twice a week. Karen said that mum didn't like the mattress and was sleeping in her chair, spoke to Daphne and she said that they were going to put her old mattress back on for her, she had asked the district nurse about putting a sheepskin on the bed for mum to put her foot on but she said they didn't do that in this area of Kent! Daphne is going to put something soft on the bed like a duvet for mum to rest her foot on.
Apparently mum had told one of the other ladies off earlier on in the day, she was a tantrum and making a lot of noise, mum looked at her at and said 'that's enough of that!...
Good visit
Saturday 22 December 2012
Monday 5th - Sunday 19th December 2010
Monday 5th December 2010
Mum was having a bath when we got into the care home, Daphne and Karen brought her into the dining room when she was ready and sat her in an armchair, it took quite a long time to get her out of the wheelchair and into the armchair, it wasn't too bad getting her to stand up but it took ages to get her to understand that she had to move her left leg and move backwards so that she could sit in the chair. She looked a lot better and she had eaten her breakfast, she was brighter and we even had a joke with her.
Her attention span is not good she is constantly looking around but it was good to see that she could now drink her tea on her own and not having to rely on the carers for help.
Mary phoned in the evening to say that when she they went in on Saturday mum did not look good and she thought that mums mouth looked 'droopy'
Thursday 9th December
I phoned and spoke to Daphne she said that mum was having a good day and was able to walk a little, she had stood up when they took her to the lounge and walked to her room
Saturday 11th December
Mary phoned to say that she had phoned the care home and actually spoken to mum but mum hadn't really understood what was going on and in the end Mary had to put the phone down as mum was talking to someone else and Mary couldn't get her to listen and understand that she needed to put the phone down too.
Sunday 12th December
We spent an hour with mum but she was not really with it, she dozed most of the time. We went into her room with her for a short while and then took her back to the dining room, she was still in her wheelchair. I had to encourage her to eat her biscuit by putting it up to her mouth and she took little bites of it.
Thursday 16th December
Phoned to see how mum was and spoke to Tina, she said that mum was not to good today and that she was in bed. The doctor came in yesterday and he had taken mum off most of her tablets and he had given her some antibiotics, I asked her if the doctors was coming in again to see her and she said that he wasn't. Tina said that when Teresa went in on Tuesday it had upset her to see how mum was.
I told Tina that I would phone again tomorrow but could she please phone me if she got any worse, I also asked her if the time came that mum was really bad would she be admitted to the nursing care upstairs in the care home, she that if they thought that mum would benefit by having nursing care she would be moved, otherwise it would be best for her to stay where she is.
Friday 17th December
Tina phoned to say that mum was a lot better today she was walking and talking a lot and much happier, we decided to go in and see her (very snowy and slippery on the roads). Mum was in the lounge she was really pleased to see us and very chatty, a lot of it we couldn't understand but it was good to see her in much better spirits, she mentioned Charlie (her brother) a lot. She had eaten a jam sandwich and had a drink.
It was so good to see her much better than when we last saw on Sunday, She managed to walk (with a lot of help) to the loo and then we got her to walk with her zimmer frame to the dining room.
I helped her with her dinner but she only wanted a few spoonfuls and then said that she 'I don't want it and if I don't want it, I don't'.
Sunday 19th December
Daph text to say that she had rang the care home and spoke to Daphne and mum was having another good day.
Mum was having a bath when we got into the care home, Daphne and Karen brought her into the dining room when she was ready and sat her in an armchair, it took quite a long time to get her out of the wheelchair and into the armchair, it wasn't too bad getting her to stand up but it took ages to get her to understand that she had to move her left leg and move backwards so that she could sit in the chair. She looked a lot better and she had eaten her breakfast, she was brighter and we even had a joke with her.
Her attention span is not good she is constantly looking around but it was good to see that she could now drink her tea on her own and not having to rely on the carers for help.
Mary phoned in the evening to say that when she they went in on Saturday mum did not look good and she thought that mums mouth looked 'droopy'
Thursday 9th December
I phoned and spoke to Daphne she said that mum was having a good day and was able to walk a little, she had stood up when they took her to the lounge and walked to her room
Saturday 11th December
Mary phoned to say that she had phoned the care home and actually spoken to mum but mum hadn't really understood what was going on and in the end Mary had to put the phone down as mum was talking to someone else and Mary couldn't get her to listen and understand that she needed to put the phone down too.
Sunday 12th December
We spent an hour with mum but she was not really with it, she dozed most of the time. We went into her room with her for a short while and then took her back to the dining room, she was still in her wheelchair. I had to encourage her to eat her biscuit by putting it up to her mouth and she took little bites of it.
Thursday 16th December
Phoned to see how mum was and spoke to Tina, she said that mum was not to good today and that she was in bed. The doctor came in yesterday and he had taken mum off most of her tablets and he had given her some antibiotics, I asked her if the doctors was coming in again to see her and she said that he wasn't. Tina said that when Teresa went in on Tuesday it had upset her to see how mum was.
I told Tina that I would phone again tomorrow but could she please phone me if she got any worse, I also asked her if the time came that mum was really bad would she be admitted to the nursing care upstairs in the care home, she that if they thought that mum would benefit by having nursing care she would be moved, otherwise it would be best for her to stay where she is.
Friday 17th December
Tina phoned to say that mum was a lot better today she was walking and talking a lot and much happier, we decided to go in and see her (very snowy and slippery on the roads). Mum was in the lounge she was really pleased to see us and very chatty, a lot of it we couldn't understand but it was good to see her in much better spirits, she mentioned Charlie (her brother) a lot. She had eaten a jam sandwich and had a drink.
It was so good to see her much better than when we last saw on Sunday, She managed to walk (with a lot of help) to the loo and then we got her to walk with her zimmer frame to the dining room.
I helped her with her dinner but she only wanted a few spoonfuls and then said that she 'I don't want it and if I don't want it, I don't'.
Sunday 19th December
Daph text to say that she had rang the care home and spoke to Daphne and mum was having another good day.
Thursday 20 December 2012
Wednesday 24th November - Sunday 5th December
Wednesday 24th November 2010
We went into see mum today, we took her some birthday cards, presents and a cake as it is her birthday tomorrow, (Michael and Linda are going in to see her tomorrow) she seemed a lot more alert today, she was looking out of the window when we arrived and waved at us, she was still in her wheelchair.
Daphne said that she had walked out of her room on her own and they met her half way along the corridor, she said that she was tired so they put her in the wheelchair, she seemed very bemused about her cards and presents all the other ladies were more interesting in them than she was.
We took her back to her room, she is happier in there, she suddenly asked us if Char (her brother) was still alive, we told her that 'no he wasn't'.
We left her watching TV.
Monday 29th November
I called the care home to see how mum was, Daphne said that she was eating her breakfast and then she would be going to have her bath she was confused and they think that she may have had another small stoke. I asked her to give her a cuddle for me and told her that we would be in on Wednesday.
Daphne said that when Michael and Linda went in last Thursday mum hadn't joined in with their conversation much.
Wednesday 1st December
Phoned to see how mum was, don't know who I spoke to but they told me that mum was having breakfast in bed this morning and that she was very confused, I told them that we wouldn't be able to get into today as the roads were really bad because of the snow, hopefully we would get in tomorrow
Thursday 2nd December
Daphne phoned from the care home to say that mum had another UTI and is on antibiotics she is sleeping most of the time, they are getting her up and sitting her in the lounge, they are also having to feed her.
We haven't been about to get in to see her this week because of the snow the road are really bad around here, we are hoping to get in on Saturday.
Friday 3rd December
Tina from the care home phoned to say that they had to call the doctor out to mum and that she has a chest infection and is on more antibiotics, she isn't eating, drinking and not communicating. The doctor said that it may be the dementia or because of the urine and chest infection.
I phoned Daph and we decided to go in together and see her (the road were still really bad). She was in her room slumped in her chair, we sat her up more and she said that she wanted to go to the toilet so I went and found someone, they said that they would do it after supper but I told them that it was urgent and she wanted to go NOW . Don't think that they were very happy!
The carer came in and washed her and got her ready for bed they brought her supper and asked us if we would feed her, she had about a third of the soup and we also got her to drink her energy drink, it was logged on her chart how much she had to eat and drink.
If she doesn't improve over the next couple of days the doctor will go in and see her again.
She found it very hard to tell us what she wanted, just getting a sentence out every now and then.
I felt so sad leaving her and just want to pick her up and bring her home.
Saturday 4th December
Phone the care home and spoke to Daphne, she said that mums wasn't too good today, she is up and sitting in her chair but she is very weak, she has started her antibiotics, she says that she hates seeing mum like this, but when you resistance is low you can pick up all sorts of things.
I told Daphne that Mary was going in this morning and that Michael and Teresa would be going in this afternoon.
Sunday 5th December
Daph phoned the care home to see how mum was, Daphne told her that she was a little better today, she had eaten a little toast and some cornflakes, she had also stood on her own without them using the hoist.
We went into see mum today, we took her some birthday cards, presents and a cake as it is her birthday tomorrow, (Michael and Linda are going in to see her tomorrow) she seemed a lot more alert today, she was looking out of the window when we arrived and waved at us, she was still in her wheelchair.
Daphne said that she had walked out of her room on her own and they met her half way along the corridor, she said that she was tired so they put her in the wheelchair, she seemed very bemused about her cards and presents all the other ladies were more interesting in them than she was.
We took her back to her room, she is happier in there, she suddenly asked us if Char (her brother) was still alive, we told her that 'no he wasn't'.
We left her watching TV.
Monday 29th November
I called the care home to see how mum was, Daphne said that she was eating her breakfast and then she would be going to have her bath she was confused and they think that she may have had another small stoke. I asked her to give her a cuddle for me and told her that we would be in on Wednesday.
Daphne said that when Michael and Linda went in last Thursday mum hadn't joined in with their conversation much.
Wednesday 1st December
Phoned to see how mum was, don't know who I spoke to but they told me that mum was having breakfast in bed this morning and that she was very confused, I told them that we wouldn't be able to get into today as the roads were really bad because of the snow, hopefully we would get in tomorrow
Thursday 2nd December
Daphne phoned from the care home to say that mum had another UTI and is on antibiotics she is sleeping most of the time, they are getting her up and sitting her in the lounge, they are also having to feed her.
We haven't been about to get in to see her this week because of the snow the road are really bad around here, we are hoping to get in on Saturday.
Friday 3rd December
Tina from the care home phoned to say that they had to call the doctor out to mum and that she has a chest infection and is on more antibiotics, she isn't eating, drinking and not communicating. The doctor said that it may be the dementia or because of the urine and chest infection.
I phoned Daph and we decided to go in together and see her (the road were still really bad). She was in her room slumped in her chair, we sat her up more and she said that she wanted to go to the toilet so I went and found someone, they said that they would do it after supper but I told them that it was urgent and she wanted to go NOW . Don't think that they were very happy!
The carer came in and washed her and got her ready for bed they brought her supper and asked us if we would feed her, she had about a third of the soup and we also got her to drink her energy drink, it was logged on her chart how much she had to eat and drink.
If she doesn't improve over the next couple of days the doctor will go in and see her again.
She found it very hard to tell us what she wanted, just getting a sentence out every now and then.
I felt so sad leaving her and just want to pick her up and bring her home.
Saturday 4th December
Phone the care home and spoke to Daphne, she said that mums wasn't too good today, she is up and sitting in her chair but she is very weak, she has started her antibiotics, she says that she hates seeing mum like this, but when you resistance is low you can pick up all sorts of things.
I told Daphne that Mary was going in this morning and that Michael and Teresa would be going in this afternoon.
Sunday 5th December
Daph phoned the care home to see how mum was, Daphne told her that she was a little better today, she had eaten a little toast and some cornflakes, she had also stood on her own without them using the hoist.
Monday 15th - Sunday 21st November 2010
Monday 15th November 2010
Linda phoned to say that the hospital had phoned to say that mum was going back to the care home this afternoon.
I phoned the home at 5.15pm and spoke to Daphne, she said that mum was not back with them yet, they were really looking forward to having her back there, she would be going back to her room.
I told her that we would be coming in to see mum in a couple of days time.
Tuesday 16th November
I phoned the care home to see how mum had settle since she came back to them last night. I spoke to Tina and she said that mum was fine, she had walked with her zimmer frame from her room to the dining room to have her breakfast but as soon as she had finished she wanted to go back to her room.
Thursday 18th November
We went into see mum we got there 10.30 ish, mum was in her room. Daphne told us that 2 carers were just going to take mum to the bathroom as she had an upset tummy, due to the tablets given to her by the hospital she was constipated while she was in there, they were going to take her off the tablets as they were working too well!!
The carers were getting mum into a wheelchair to take her into the bathroom to get her washed and change her clothes.She was very confused and I don't think that she even realised who we were while we were with her. She asked me where my mum was, she looked at me and said 'you look old!'
We stayed with her for about 2 hours, it was a hard and upsetting visit, we took her to the dining room in her wheelchair, all the other ladies were making cakes but she really wasn't interested in joining in she just sat in her chair dozing, we asked her if she wanted to go back to her room but she said that she was fine.
Daphne found her glasses, they were in her large blue purse. she wouldn't put them on so John put them in her room. We spoke to Daphne about how she thought mum was she said that we have to remember that mum had been thought quite an ordeal, she doesn't realise that she has been in hospital and had a hip replacement and also that she has had an anaesthetic, it may still be in her system, she had also walked a bit this morning and been washed and change and so all this had made her very tired.
Sunday 21st November
I phoned to see how mum was, I spoke to Tina she said that mum no longer had her upset tummy but she was still very confused this morning, she was in her wheelchair but she had walked a bit yesterday, she wants to stay in her room, she doesn't like going into the lounge much but will go into the dining room for a short while but prefers to stay in her room.
Michael phone in the afternoon, he said that when they went in on Saturday mum was in bed, they got her up, she was very confused and they didn't stay long, they left her watching her TV
Linda phoned to say that the hospital had phoned to say that mum was going back to the care home this afternoon.
I phoned the home at 5.15pm and spoke to Daphne, she said that mum was not back with them yet, they were really looking forward to having her back there, she would be going back to her room.
I told her that we would be coming in to see mum in a couple of days time.
Tuesday 16th November
I phoned the care home to see how mum had settle since she came back to them last night. I spoke to Tina and she said that mum was fine, she had walked with her zimmer frame from her room to the dining room to have her breakfast but as soon as she had finished she wanted to go back to her room.
Thursday 18th November
We went into see mum we got there 10.30 ish, mum was in her room. Daphne told us that 2 carers were just going to take mum to the bathroom as she had an upset tummy, due to the tablets given to her by the hospital she was constipated while she was in there, they were going to take her off the tablets as they were working too well!!
The carers were getting mum into a wheelchair to take her into the bathroom to get her washed and change her clothes.She was very confused and I don't think that she even realised who we were while we were with her. She asked me where my mum was, she looked at me and said 'you look old!'
We stayed with her for about 2 hours, it was a hard and upsetting visit, we took her to the dining room in her wheelchair, all the other ladies were making cakes but she really wasn't interested in joining in she just sat in her chair dozing, we asked her if she wanted to go back to her room but she said that she was fine.
Daphne found her glasses, they were in her large blue purse. she wouldn't put them on so John put them in her room. We spoke to Daphne about how she thought mum was she said that we have to remember that mum had been thought quite an ordeal, she doesn't realise that she has been in hospital and had a hip replacement and also that she has had an anaesthetic, it may still be in her system, she had also walked a bit this morning and been washed and change and so all this had made her very tired.
Sunday 21st November
I phoned to see how mum was, I spoke to Tina she said that mum no longer had her upset tummy but she was still very confused this morning, she was in her wheelchair but she had walked a bit yesterday, she wants to stay in her room, she doesn't like going into the lounge much but will go into the dining room for a short while but prefers to stay in her room.
Michael phone in the afternoon, he said that when they went in on Saturday mum was in bed, they got her up, she was very confused and they didn't stay long, they left her watching her TV
Monday 8th November - Sunday 14th November
Monday 8th November 2010
Michael phoned to say that he had been in into see mum and she was doing really well and the Physio had been in and she had walked 8 mts with her zimmer frame, she was still confused but they were all pleased with her progress. She had been moved to Kings C1 ward.
Wednesday 10th November
I phoned the hospital ward to see how mum was, I spoke to the nurse on duty, he said that mum had gone from the bed to the chair and was having her breakfast at the moment, she would be seeing the Physio later on. I asked him to tell her that I had phoned and to give her my love and tell her that I was OK.
Michael phoned and said that he had been into see mum yesterday and that she hadn't been good, she was very tired. The Physio told him that she would probably be there for 10 - 14 days and that hopefully she would be as mobile as she was before she had her fall.
Thursday 11th November
Daphne phoned from the care home and spoke to John as I was too well today, she said that she had been into the hospital to see mum and has watched her walk, she said that she was looking forward to mum going back to them soon.
Sunday 14th November
Daph phoned me to say that she has been into see mum today, she was confused but better in herself, she was not keen on doing anything but the nurse told her that she was getting up (aided) to go to the toilet . Auntie Freda and Jenny had been into see her on Saturday .
Michael phoned to say that he had been in into see mum and she was doing really well and the Physio had been in and she had walked 8 mts with her zimmer frame, she was still confused but they were all pleased with her progress. She had been moved to Kings C1 ward.
Wednesday 10th November
I phoned the hospital ward to see how mum was, I spoke to the nurse on duty, he said that mum had gone from the bed to the chair and was having her breakfast at the moment, she would be seeing the Physio later on. I asked him to tell her that I had phoned and to give her my love and tell her that I was OK.
Michael phoned and said that he had been into see mum yesterday and that she hadn't been good, she was very tired. The Physio told him that she would probably be there for 10 - 14 days and that hopefully she would be as mobile as she was before she had her fall.
Thursday 11th November
Daphne phoned from the care home and spoke to John as I was too well today, she said that she had been into the hospital to see mum and has watched her walk, she said that she was looking forward to mum going back to them soon.
Sunday 14th November
Daph phoned me to say that she has been into see mum today, she was confused but better in herself, she was not keen on doing anything but the nurse told her that she was getting up (aided) to go to the toilet . Auntie Freda and Jenny had been into see her on Saturday .
Mum ends up in hospital .. Monday 1st November - Sunday 7th November 2010
Monday 1st November 2010
Teresa phoned to say that she had been into see mum with Michael on Saturday, mum was very confused and still stiff from her fall, Michael gave her glasses to her and she tried to put them on her foot!
They took her to out to Costa for tea and cake but it was a real struggle for her, she found it very difficult to walk and Teresa said that her coordination was really bad.
I told Teresa that Charlie had been in to see her and she said that mum had told her that he had been in and he taken in a nice plant for her.
Tuesday 2nd November
Mum was confused when we got to the care home, we took Herbie (dog) in with us, she took a while before she realised that he was there, we went along to her room. I took mum to the toilet and noticed a large bruise on the top of her leg.
Mum couldn't get a complete sentence out today but she did say that she thought she was dying this morning (that upset me quite a bit) when we asked her how she felt now she couldn't tell us.
John felt that this visit was the first time he felt that mum was not coping with her illness, she didn't remember Teresa and Michael going in to see her on Saturday, I told her that they had taken her out for tea and cake and she said' Oh did they, that was nice'. I asked her if she had seen Daph and Dib and she said 'No'.
I asked Tina on the way out if they had been in and she said that yes they had, but she thought that it wouldn't be a good idea for them to take her out on Sunday for Lunch as mum was not good.
Mum has lost her glasses so I looked through the box of glasses that they had in the clinical room for mums glasses but they were not there. Tina told me that they have an optician coming in the home and that she wold put mums name down to see them.
In the evening Daph phoned to say mum was very confused when they saw her on Sunday and that they hadn't taken her out for Lunch as Michael had phoned them and asked them not to but she said that they realise that mum was not in a fit state to go out. Mary also phoned and said the same as Daph.
Wednesday 3rd November
I had a phone call from from Salome Erasmus, the care manager at the care home to say that mum had a fall and they thought she had fractured her left leg. Michael picked me up and we went to the William Harvey hospital in Ashford. Justina, one of the carers was with mum and wouldn't leave her until she knew the results of mums x-rays, the x-rays showed that mum had fractured her femur (at the neck of the femur). She was very confused and in a lot of pain, she had got to the A & E midday and no pain killers were given until 3pm, they said that they couldn't give her a pain blocker injection because of the dementia, she had to be fully aware of what has happened, so it was not a good idea to give her an injection. She was moved to the A & E side ward called Wacko Ward and then she was moved to King D2 red bay, she was then given more morphine, we left her about 8pm
Thursday 4th November
I phoned the hospital at 9am, mum had a good night and she was waiting for the trauma doctor to do his rounds, she is nil by mouth so will be having her operation in the morning. I phoned and told Dib and Daph.
I went into hospital to have my knee operation today having my operation in the morning. John phoned me in the evening to say that Michael had phoned to say that the doctor had phone him last night and told him that they were doing a complete hip replacement.
Friday 5th November
Teresa phoned John to say that mum had her operation and all went well but she was having breathing problems. She went in with Michael but she wasn't good, she had asked after me and wanted to know if I was OK.
I talked to one of the nurses in the hospital where I was and she said that often Dementia patients recover quicker from surgery as they are not aware of what has happened
Saturday 6th November
I came home from hospital this morning. Michael phoned to say that they had been into see mum and that she wasn't very good, the nurse told them that mum had been aware of things this morning but this afternoon she was not good. Teresa tried to get her to eat a few spoonful of food but she couldn't get her to eat anything.
Michael said that Daph, Dib, Mary and Roger were going in to see her tomorrow
Sunday 7th November
Daph phoned while they were in with mum, she was still confused but much brighter, they even got her to talk to me on the phone ( It was good to hear her) I asked her how she felt and she said 'well I don't really know! and then started talking a lot of nonsense that I couldn't understand.
Daph prompted her to ask me how I was and I reassured her that I was OK and that I would see her soon.
Daph phoned when she got home to tell me how mum was she said that mum was OK but confused she had asked her about me so Daph said well lets phone her, she said that mum was better than she had thought and she was in good spirits but tired
Teresa phoned to say that she had been into see mum with Michael on Saturday, mum was very confused and still stiff from her fall, Michael gave her glasses to her and she tried to put them on her foot!
They took her to out to Costa for tea and cake but it was a real struggle for her, she found it very difficult to walk and Teresa said that her coordination was really bad.
I told Teresa that Charlie had been in to see her and she said that mum had told her that he had been in and he taken in a nice plant for her.
Tuesday 2nd November
Mum was confused when we got to the care home, we took Herbie (dog) in with us, she took a while before she realised that he was there, we went along to her room. I took mum to the toilet and noticed a large bruise on the top of her leg.
Mum couldn't get a complete sentence out today but she did say that she thought she was dying this morning (that upset me quite a bit) when we asked her how she felt now she couldn't tell us.
John felt that this visit was the first time he felt that mum was not coping with her illness, she didn't remember Teresa and Michael going in to see her on Saturday, I told her that they had taken her out for tea and cake and she said' Oh did they, that was nice'. I asked her if she had seen Daph and Dib and she said 'No'.
I asked Tina on the way out if they had been in and she said that yes they had, but she thought that it wouldn't be a good idea for them to take her out on Sunday for Lunch as mum was not good.
Mum has lost her glasses so I looked through the box of glasses that they had in the clinical room for mums glasses but they were not there. Tina told me that they have an optician coming in the home and that she wold put mums name down to see them.
In the evening Daph phoned to say mum was very confused when they saw her on Sunday and that they hadn't taken her out for Lunch as Michael had phoned them and asked them not to but she said that they realise that mum was not in a fit state to go out. Mary also phoned and said the same as Daph.
Wednesday 3rd November
I had a phone call from from Salome Erasmus, the care manager at the care home to say that mum had a fall and they thought she had fractured her left leg. Michael picked me up and we went to the William Harvey hospital in Ashford. Justina, one of the carers was with mum and wouldn't leave her until she knew the results of mums x-rays, the x-rays showed that mum had fractured her femur (at the neck of the femur). She was very confused and in a lot of pain, she had got to the A & E midday and no pain killers were given until 3pm, they said that they couldn't give her a pain blocker injection because of the dementia, she had to be fully aware of what has happened, so it was not a good idea to give her an injection. She was moved to the A & E side ward called Wacko Ward and then she was moved to King D2 red bay, she was then given more morphine, we left her about 8pm
Thursday 4th November
I phoned the hospital at 9am, mum had a good night and she was waiting for the trauma doctor to do his rounds, she is nil by mouth so will be having her operation in the morning. I phoned and told Dib and Daph.
I went into hospital to have my knee operation today having my operation in the morning. John phoned me in the evening to say that Michael had phoned to say that the doctor had phone him last night and told him that they were doing a complete hip replacement.
Friday 5th November
Teresa phoned John to say that mum had her operation and all went well but she was having breathing problems. She went in with Michael but she wasn't good, she had asked after me and wanted to know if I was OK.
I talked to one of the nurses in the hospital where I was and she said that often Dementia patients recover quicker from surgery as they are not aware of what has happened
Saturday 6th November
I came home from hospital this morning. Michael phoned to say that they had been into see mum and that she wasn't very good, the nurse told them that mum had been aware of things this morning but this afternoon she was not good. Teresa tried to get her to eat a few spoonful of food but she couldn't get her to eat anything.
Michael said that Daph, Dib, Mary and Roger were going in to see her tomorrow
Sunday 7th November
Daph phoned while they were in with mum, she was still confused but much brighter, they even got her to talk to me on the phone ( It was good to hear her) I asked her how she felt and she said 'well I don't really know! and then started talking a lot of nonsense that I couldn't understand.
Daph prompted her to ask me how I was and I reassured her that I was OK and that I would see her soon.
Daph phoned when she got home to tell me how mum was she said that mum was OK but confused she had asked her about me so Daph said well lets phone her, she said that mum was better than she had thought and she was in good spirits but tired
Tuesday 18 December 2012
Monday 25th - 30th October 2010
Monday 25th October 2010
Tina phoned to say that mum had a fall last night and had anyone phoned from the home, I said that 'no' they hadn't phoned me but they may have tried to phone Michael and that he was away.
Tina said that Mum has a bruise on her shoulder and hip and that her hand was also bruised and swollen, they had done a water test to she if she has an infection, her blood pressure was normal, the only thing that she can see is that mum has a glass of wine with her dinner so they have taken the bottles and locked then in the clinical room.
I asked Tina if they could phone Michael first as they have two cars and can get into the home quickly that we can, if they can't get hold of him then to phone me.
I text Teresa and also left a message on her answer phone about the fall, she phoned me and I said that perhaps it would be best to ring and have a talk with Tina which she did and they she phoned me back, she was wondering if mum had too many visitors the day before she had also been out and that perhaps she had been tired.
Teresa said she was going into see mum on Thursday with Lissa.
Tuesday 26th October
We got in to mum about 10.30 she was in her room in her chair, I made her bed and changed her duvet cover.
Daphne said that it had taken two of them to get her out of bed and she had been so stiff after her fall, JJ helped Mervyn get mum out of her chair so that she could get to the bathroom to have a wash, she used her walking frame. Daphne told us that the doctor couldn't come today as he was on holiday, hopefully they could get a doctor to come in tomorrow. I said to Daphne that Terese had asked if mum should have a scan on her head, she said that when mums doctor comes back from his holiday she would ask him for a referral.
We stayed with her for about an hour and half and left her watching TV, they were going to get her to walk with her frame to the lounge.
Daph phoned in the evening I told her about mums fall and that she was very stiff, she said that she knew as she had phoned today to see how mum was, Daphne told her that mum was OK and that she had walked from the lounge to her room to take the phone call, they want to take mum out with Mary and Roger for lunch on Sunday, I suggested that she phoned the home to see how mum was before going in
Phoned and left a message on Teresa's answer phone letting her know that they were taking her out on Sunday.
Wednesday 27th October
Teresa phoned I told her about Daph taking mum out for Sunday lunch and she said that when they go in on Saturday that they would only take mum to Costas for a cup of tea, she said that it would be nice for mum to go out to lunch.
Thursday 28th October
Got a cheque from South East Water for an overpayment of water rates so paid it into mums bank
account.
Teresa went into see mum she said that mum was still very stiff and confused, she was walking with her frame and had a bib on at lunch time as she kept dropping her food all down herself but Daphne did say she got herself out of bed this morning.
The doctor hadn't been in as he was only doing emergency calls and as mum hadn't broken anything they thought that it wasn't worth them being called.
Teresa asked if mum could have a raised toilet seat they said that one was going to be put on mums loo on Tuesday ( I had asked for one to be put on) Mervyn was very apologetic and said that he had forgotten about it, he went straight away and got one and put it on, they are putting a pad on her now for safety!
Teresa left her in the lounge watching the entertainment
Friday 29th October
Phoned to see how mum was Daphne said that she was in good spirits and much better today, she had walked to the dining room. I asked her to tell mum that I had called
Saturday 30th October
Charlie e-mailed me to say that he had been in to see mum today, he had contacted me and asked for the address earlier on in the week, he said that mum did remember him some of the time!
Tina phoned to say that mum had a fall last night and had anyone phoned from the home, I said that 'no' they hadn't phoned me but they may have tried to phone Michael and that he was away.
Tina said that Mum has a bruise on her shoulder and hip and that her hand was also bruised and swollen, they had done a water test to she if she has an infection, her blood pressure was normal, the only thing that she can see is that mum has a glass of wine with her dinner so they have taken the bottles and locked then in the clinical room.
I asked Tina if they could phone Michael first as they have two cars and can get into the home quickly that we can, if they can't get hold of him then to phone me.
I text Teresa and also left a message on her answer phone about the fall, she phoned me and I said that perhaps it would be best to ring and have a talk with Tina which she did and they she phoned me back, she was wondering if mum had too many visitors the day before she had also been out and that perhaps she had been tired.
Teresa said she was going into see mum on Thursday with Lissa.
Tuesday 26th October
We got in to mum about 10.30 she was in her room in her chair, I made her bed and changed her duvet cover.
Daphne said that it had taken two of them to get her out of bed and she had been so stiff after her fall, JJ helped Mervyn get mum out of her chair so that she could get to the bathroom to have a wash, she used her walking frame. Daphne told us that the doctor couldn't come today as he was on holiday, hopefully they could get a doctor to come in tomorrow. I said to Daphne that Terese had asked if mum should have a scan on her head, she said that when mums doctor comes back from his holiday she would ask him for a referral.
We stayed with her for about an hour and half and left her watching TV, they were going to get her to walk with her frame to the lounge.
Daph phoned in the evening I told her about mums fall and that she was very stiff, she said that she knew as she had phoned today to see how mum was, Daphne told her that mum was OK and that she had walked from the lounge to her room to take the phone call, they want to take mum out with Mary and Roger for lunch on Sunday, I suggested that she phoned the home to see how mum was before going in
Phoned and left a message on Teresa's answer phone letting her know that they were taking her out on Sunday.
Wednesday 27th October
Teresa phoned I told her about Daph taking mum out for Sunday lunch and she said that when they go in on Saturday that they would only take mum to Costas for a cup of tea, she said that it would be nice for mum to go out to lunch.
Thursday 28th October
Got a cheque from South East Water for an overpayment of water rates so paid it into mums bank
account.
Teresa went into see mum she said that mum was still very stiff and confused, she was walking with her frame and had a bib on at lunch time as she kept dropping her food all down herself but Daphne did say she got herself out of bed this morning.
The doctor hadn't been in as he was only doing emergency calls and as mum hadn't broken anything they thought that it wasn't worth them being called.
Teresa asked if mum could have a raised toilet seat they said that one was going to be put on mums loo on Tuesday ( I had asked for one to be put on) Mervyn was very apologetic and said that he had forgotten about it, he went straight away and got one and put it on, they are putting a pad on her now for safety!
Teresa left her in the lounge watching the entertainment
Friday 29th October
Phoned to see how mum was Daphne said that she was in good spirits and much better today, she had walked to the dining room. I asked her to tell mum that I had called
Saturday 30th October
Charlie e-mailed me to say that he had been in to see mum today, he had contacted me and asked for the address earlier on in the week, he said that mum did remember him some of the time!
Saturday 16th - Sunday 24th October 2010
Saturday 16th
October 2010
Tina
from Park View phoned to say that they had found mum on the floor
wrapped in a blanket and asked if mum had been sleeping in a double
bed at home, I told her that she had, she said the the beds there
were quite small. I wondered it we could get mum a bigger bed, she
said that she would have a word with Daphne, the unit manager, on
Monday. (thankfully mum did not hurt herself)
I
phoned Michael and talked to him about a bigger bed and he thought
that it was a good idea.
We
went into see mum and they had decided to use a bed guard, mum was in
the Dining Room and she was very confused and did mention home
but we managed to change the subject and we said lets go to your
room. I said 'you have a small house now' and she said 'yes, I
have' I put her cover on her duvet and put it on the bed I did wonder
if it would be too hot for a duvet as it is very hot in her room. We
went back and sat in the dining room. Karen one of the carers came in
and mum asked her is she was 'the one – you know, we were a long
time' She had remember that Karen had been with her but not where
they had been (it had been when she went to the hospital).
While
we were in the dining room I noticed that her purse was on the table,
I told mum that it was her purse and one of the other ladies said
that there wasn't anything in it, when I looked inside it she had a
small bar of melted chocolate and in the zipper part there were 3
broken biscuits and a folded up photo of Frankie (Lissa's little boy)
John
didn't come in with me as he had a really nasty cold, he sat outside
in the car mum saw him and waved and tried to open the window, she
was OK when I left.
Mum
seems to have a chesty cough, I asked Tina about it and she said that
if it continues she would ask the doctor to see her, she did say that
they had several of the residence with coughs since they had put the
central heating on.
I
text Michael to tell him that we had been in.
Tuesday 19th
October
We
picked Teresa up from work and went into Park View, Sharon Hale from
Social Services was coming to assess mum to see how she was settling
in, she was waiting in the dining room when we arrived. (JJ went off
for a walk while we saw Sharon Hale)
We
went along to mums room, Daphne came with us, mum was very confused
and thought that she recognised Sharon Hale but when she said to mum
that the last time she had seen her was at mums house, mum looked
puzzled and said 'what house?. She said that mum had shown her garden
to her, mum said 'what garden?' Sharon said that it was probably for
the best that mum didn't remember her house and garden
the
only thing that was mentioned was about mum not being able to go
outside as she used to love going out everyday, Daphne said that mum
could go out in the garden whenever she wanted to, there was no
problem with that, Daphne said that mum was a 'poppet' and a pleasure
to look after.
When
Sharon left, Teresa went out with her and asked her what would happen
if mum got worse and she needed nursing care she said that the top up
would be higher but mum would probably be able to go upstairs in the
care home for nursing care.
We
went into the dining room with mum and when John came back he made
mum laugh and she seemed happy. We left her just as they were going
to have lunch.
Noticed
that mum needed new slippers so will get some when I go into town on
Friday
Saturday 23rd
October
We
picked Laura up and took her in with us to see mum, Mum was pleased
to see Laura, she was in the dining room having a cup of tea when we
got there, she wasn't dressed properly, when we were walking mum to
her room one of the carers told us that she was just coming to give
mum and wash and get her changed, mum had got up and dressed herself,
when we got to her room the carer had all mums clothes ready on her
bed, I told the carer that it was OK that I would do it.
Mum
wanted to go to the loo, I left her until she had finished, when I
went back in she had the towel in her hand, she said that she was
going to 'wipe herself' with it, I told her that 'no' she must use
toilet roll not the towel, when I looked she had a very 'messy' hand
and had quite a job to get her to wash her hands. I got her dressed
and she told everyone that she was going out, so we took her over to
the Costa coffee shop, she enjoyed her cup of tea and slice of cake.
When we took her back Daphne told us that mum had been very confused
this morning and had forgotten to put her skirt on,mum had enjoyed
going out but also was pleased to go back.
While
we were out we saw a chocolate Labrador, she made a fuss of it and
said that it was just like Judy her dog that she had about 10 years
ago.
Sunday 24th
October
I
phoned Daph and she said that they had gone into see mum yesterday
they had got there no long after we had left, Dib, Daph, Peter, Sue
and Bobbi had gone in. Daph is still sure that mum keeps thinking
about her house, I said that I didn't think that she really
remembered, she knows that she used to live somewhere else but is
quite happy that she now lives there. I said to Daph that Teresa
says that she hates leaving mum when she goes and she said that she
does too, I said that I am OK
leaving
her but hated it when she lived at home. Daph said that she would
love to pick her up and take her home and make it 'normal' again.
Saturday 7 July 2012
Mums first fall and trip to A & E
Monday 11th October 2010
I had a
phone call from Daphne at the care home to say that mum had a fall and that she
was at the A & E at William Harvey Hospital, Ashford, she had gone in an
ambulance. I phoned Michael to get him to
go to the hospital and be with her in A & E, he phoned back and said that
she had a black eye, she said that her knee had given way and she had lost her balance,
they took an x-ray of her knee, they think that she may had a cyst behind her
knee, they advised that she be checked by the GP in case she had a black out,
she must keep her leg elevated, they told Michael that she would go back to the
home by ambulance and that he needn’t stay with her.
I phoned
Daphne after about an hour and she said that mum wasn’t back and she thought
that Michael would have brought her back to the care home as hospital transport
takes ages to arrange, I phoned Daphne back and asked if it would be possible
to arrange for a taxi to pick mum up and the cost charged to mums account, she
said she thought that could be arranged and would have a word with the office.
Michael
phoned later in the evening and said that the care home had phoned him and said
that mum had a water infection and they are getting the GP to see her tomorrow.
Tuesday 12th October 2010
We picked
mums friend Bett up and took her in with us to see mum, spoke to Daphne about
mum as the GP had just left and she said that he couldn’t find anything wrong
but he had taken her off her blood pressure tablets and her blood pressure was
fine. He has given her stronger
antibiotics to sort out her water infection.
I gave
Daphne the appointment card and information from the eye clinic, she said that
she would give it to the GP for referral to William Harvey.
Mum looked
well apart from two black eyes, which they thought may have been partly caused
by her glasses digging into her face when she fell, her knee just had a small
bruise and was slightly swollen, the carer has taken her stick away as she must
now use the walking frame (she has to be assessed by the physio before she gets
one of her own!). She had trouble grasping how to use it. She doesn’t remember
anything about the ambulance or the hospital
She was
very pleased to see Bett, Bett took in a
photo of mum with all the ladies from
the British Legion she was quite interested in that but unable to say who they
were. While we were there the carer came over and said that they thought it
would be a good idea to change mums room round and put the bed against the wall
instead of the middle of the room as they thought that she may have shuffled
around the bed and tripped, we thought that was a really good idea. The maintenance
man had changed her room around before we left and we thought that it looked so
much better and gave her so much more space to move about in, he also measured
up to put mums clock and pictures on the wall which he said he would do
tomorrow.
The carer
told us that this afternoon they were going to sit mum in the lounge with her
foot elevated while she watches the entertainment. We caught Daphne and asked
if the meeting with Social Services was still on for the 19th and
she said that yes she thought that it was.
I told her that we still hadn’t had any correspondence from Sharon Hale
at Social Services. Left some money in
the office for mums ‘pocket money’
Phoned Teresa
and passed on info also phoned Linda for her to tell Michael
Wednesday 13th October
As we hadn’t
heard anything from Social Services regarding the meeting on the 19th
I phoned them and was told that Sharon Hale was on holiday, they looked in her
diary and they told me that she hadn’t written anything in there about the
meeting at the care home, they looked through her phone messages and said that
there was one on the 28th September for her to phone care home!. I told them that we all needed to know if the
meeting was on or not, they told me that they would e-mail Sharon Hale and get
her to phone me tomorrow. They told me
that it was not like Sharon to not inform them or write in her
diary of any meetings
Michael
dropped in the keys for mum’s house so that we could take them to the housing
association on Friday.
Thursday 14th October
Sharon Hale
phoned to say that the meeting was on for the 19th and that she DID
have it marked in her diary! She said that she had asked the care home to advise
us. I said that I thought that we would
have been advised in writing by Social Services.
Text Teresa
and told her we would pick her u at 9.45am she said could we pick her up from
work
Friday 15th October
We took the
keys into the housing association and got a receipt for the keys
Thursday 5 July 2012
Sunday 3rd - Thursday 7th October 2010
Sunday 3rd October 2010
Went over
to mums house to see that all was OK, I noticed that a lot of the rubbish from
the house had been cleared . I called over
to D & D’s house for them to come over so that they could take a few bits
of mums that they would like, D told me that Mary and Roger were going into see
mum today.
D phoned in
the evening to say that Mary had noticed a bruise over mums eye, she went and
asked when had happened, the care staff member had looked in the accident book
and told her that it had been logged down that mum had fallen over and there
was diagram of where she had bumped her head, she told Mary that she had done
it on Friday and there hadn’t been a mark or bruise there on Friday or Saturday
(none of the family had been informed!) Mary had also noticed that mum had trouble
getting out of chair as she said that her knees were hurting.
Monday 4th October
Phoned the care
home and spoke to Daphne she said that she had been off at the weekend and didn’t
know anything about mum having a fall, she looked up mums notes and told me
that mum had been found on the floor, mum said that she had bend down to pick
something up from the floor and fallen over.
I told Daphne about mums knees and that she had trouble getting out of
chair, she said that she would give mum some pain killers and keep an eye on
her. She said that mum was fine this
morning.
Daphne
asked me if Social Services had been in touch as they had phoned them regarding
the meeting regarding mum staying at the home.
The meeting has been arranged for Tuesday October 19th at 10.30am, when I came off the phone I text
Michael and Teresa with the details.
Tuesday 5th October
Michael
called in with the bill from KCC for mums portion of her fees for the care home,
It was decided that I would get the cash out of mums account and give him the
cash so that he could write a cheque, then get mums pension paid straight into
her bank account and set up a DD to pay the care home fees to KCC.
Wednesday 6th October
I phoned
and sorted mums pension to be paid directly into her bank account to start from
12th October.
I then phoned
KCC about mums fees being paid by DD from her bank account and they said that
as mum already had an arrangement with them when she had carers that had never
been cancelled there would not be a problem with that, they would get it sorted
ASAP, all statements would come to me as I had the authority to talk on mums
behalf.
John took
me over to D & D’s and I went in to see mum with them, when we got there
Teresa was there with mum it was a good visit apart from the bruise on her eye
looked quite bad her eye looked very weepy and we asked for it to be bathed,
the carer went and got someone to look at it who told us that they only do
basic eye care and that if it didn’t improve that they would get a doctor to
look at it.
I asked
them about the eye appointment that mum had at our local hospital and they told
me to ring and ask them to transfer the appointment to the hospital near the
care home.
Thursday 7th October
I phoned
the eye clinic at Pembury and they said that the G.P at the care home must
contact the eye department at the William Harvey hospital for an appointment
and they would have to ask for the notes to be transferred to them.
Phone about
cancelling mums TV License they said to check that the care home is covered and
that mum doesn’t need a license there.
Phoned the home and they told me that the home is covered for all the
over 75’s so I wrote a letter and cancelled the license.
The arranging starts to give up the house..
Saturday 25th September 2010
Popped over
to see all was Ok at mums, everything was in order.
Monday 27th September
Laura and I
got to mums house at 9am to wait for Social Service to pick up all the
equipment that had to be returned to them, they arrived at 10.15am but they couldn’t get the frame off
the armchair so they had to leave it on it, they said that it was Ok and not
too worry about it.
I phoned and
sorted BT (phone), EDF (Electricity and Gas) to be disconnected on the 16th
October.
We had
decided to send all the unwanted bits and pieces to the British Legion for
their poppy appeal jumble sale, instead of the charity shop, as mum was heavily
involved with the women’s section as she had been the Chair woman of the Hawkhurst
branch. Dib came over and Laura and I
helped him take all the boxes over to his house ready for them to take up to
the British Legion store cupboard ready for the jumble sale.
I sorted
some photos and put them all together to go through later, we also went though
some paperwork, Laura got a bit upset when we found a lovely letter written to
mum from Johns mum when Dad died.
Michael
came in and we filled out the form to send to the Housing Association, I put
his name, address and phone number on the form so that they could contact him with
any queries.
Laura and I
sorted through some more of the stuff in the front room and she took a few
things home with her that were mums to keep as mementos. We left just after 1pm.
When I got
home there was a letter re; housing/council tax benefits asking for the date of
the end of the tenancy, and the date when mum first went into the care home. I wrote straight back to them enclosing all
the details that they asked for in the letter.
I wrote to
the water companies telling them the date that we would be ending the tenancy
and asked for all correspondence to be send to me
Wednesday 29th September
We parked
outside mums room and we saw her through the window, John tapped on the window
and she was really pleased to see us, when we got to her room the carer was
getting her washed and dressed, she said that mum had put on 3 tops and 2
skirts when she first got dressed and that they had to take her and get her re-dressed,
the carer was really nice and had a joke with mum about it.
Mum looked
really well and happy, she is having trouble putting sentences together that
make sense, but we managed to have a laugh and joke with her, it must be so
frustrating for her.
She told us
that Michael was starting work outside her window soon. We walked back to the dining from with her to
get her seated at the dining table ready for her lunch, she waved out of the
window when we went.
Thursday 30th September 2010
Filled out
the forms and sent cheque for the post to be redirected to here also wrote to
the insurance company re her life insurance and post office with her change of account
Getting Mums house & Pension sorted - Saturday 18th -Friday 24th September 2010
Saturday 18th September 2010
We went over to mums house just to check that everything was OK
Sunday 19th September
Wrote cards to send to everyone telling them that mum was now in the care home, enclosing the address and phone number to post on Monday
Monday 20th September
Michael phoned the housing association and sorted out mums house, we have until 16th October to clear everything out and must hand in the keys by 12 noon on the Monday (18th), otherwise we will be charged another weeks rent. They are sending a form which has to be send to mums house and that mum must sign it!
Michael said that he has a skip coming tomorrow and he will have it at his house and take things to be dumped in his truck to save the skip being out in the road at mums.
Tuesday 21st September
Phoned the care home to let them know that the pension people would be going in to see mum tomorrow at 10am, they said that they would have mum up washed and dressed in good time
Popped into mums house and picked up the forms to fill out for giving up the tenancy of the property, text Michael to say that I had them. Checked that everything was Ok. Took some cuttings of plants and also took all the plated off the wall in the kitchen, washed them and put them in the box to go to the charity shop
Wednesday 22nd September
Got to the Care home just before 10am, mum was waiting for me, I think that she thought that I was taking her out.
The lady from the pensions office was already there when I got there, so we arrived in the unit together. Mum was very confused and that answered one of the questions regarding her pension, shedefinitely wasn't able to deal with things herself and that she needed a person to act on her behalf.
We got all the paperwork completed and decided that as I had a second card in my name that they would continue paying mums pension into her post office account and that the home or KCC would invoice me for the fees that mum has to pay so that I could pay cash at the bank. the Attendance Allowance should now stop but check mums bank account and if it is still being paid she gave me a number to ring to get in touch with them so that it would be stopped. She also gave me a form to complete and send in to them as soon as mums stay at the care home becomes permanent so that they will have the address on file.
I am now responsible for mums pension and all correspondence will come to me.
I spend 2 hours with mum, I changed her duvet cover as it was very grubby, we then had a walk around the garden as it was such a lovely day. She got a bit agitated about being outside so we went back into the dining room where we sat and chatted until John came to pick me up. John came in and he had a chat with her. he thought that she looked and seemed much better that last time we saw her.
Teresa had left a message on the answer machine to say that she was going over to mums with Linda tomorrow. I text her to say that I had been in with mum all morning with the pension people sorting out her pension and that I wouldn't go over tomorrow but told that I was going over with Laura on Monday as Social Services were coming to pick up all the equipment that mum had and has to go back to them.
Phoned about Housing/Council tax benefits, they told me that they would stop it from 16th October but I must get a letter signed by mum with these details and another one signed by her to say that she authorises me to talk and deal with things on her behalf
Friday 24th September
Sorted out the letter ready for mum to sign, to send about the housing/council benefit to be stopped on the 16th October
We went over to mums house just to check that everything was OK
Sunday 19th September
Wrote cards to send to everyone telling them that mum was now in the care home, enclosing the address and phone number to post on Monday
Monday 20th September
Michael phoned the housing association and sorted out mums house, we have until 16th October to clear everything out and must hand in the keys by 12 noon on the Monday (18th), otherwise we will be charged another weeks rent. They are sending a form which has to be send to mums house and that mum must sign it!
Michael said that he has a skip coming tomorrow and he will have it at his house and take things to be dumped in his truck to save the skip being out in the road at mums.
Tuesday 21st September
Phoned the care home to let them know that the pension people would be going in to see mum tomorrow at 10am, they said that they would have mum up washed and dressed in good time
Popped into mums house and picked up the forms to fill out for giving up the tenancy of the property, text Michael to say that I had them. Checked that everything was Ok. Took some cuttings of plants and also took all the plated off the wall in the kitchen, washed them and put them in the box to go to the charity shop
Wednesday 22nd September
Got to the Care home just before 10am, mum was waiting for me, I think that she thought that I was taking her out.
The lady from the pensions office was already there when I got there, so we arrived in the unit together. Mum was very confused and that answered one of the questions regarding her pension, shedefinitely wasn't able to deal with things herself and that she needed a person to act on her behalf.
We got all the paperwork completed and decided that as I had a second card in my name that they would continue paying mums pension into her post office account and that the home or KCC would invoice me for the fees that mum has to pay so that I could pay cash at the bank. the Attendance Allowance should now stop but check mums bank account and if it is still being paid she gave me a number to ring to get in touch with them so that it would be stopped. She also gave me a form to complete and send in to them as soon as mums stay at the care home becomes permanent so that they will have the address on file.
I am now responsible for mums pension and all correspondence will come to me.
I spend 2 hours with mum, I changed her duvet cover as it was very grubby, we then had a walk around the garden as it was such a lovely day. She got a bit agitated about being outside so we went back into the dining room where we sat and chatted until John came to pick me up. John came in and he had a chat with her. he thought that she looked and seemed much better that last time we saw her.
Teresa had left a message on the answer machine to say that she was going over to mums with Linda tomorrow. I text her to say that I had been in with mum all morning with the pension people sorting out her pension and that I wouldn't go over tomorrow but told that I was going over with Laura on Monday as Social Services were coming to pick up all the equipment that mum had and has to go back to them.
Phoned about Housing/Council tax benefits, they told me that they would stop it from 16th October but I must get a letter signed by mum with these details and another one signed by her to say that she authorises me to talk and deal with things on her behalf
Friday 24th September
Sorted out the letter ready for mum to sign, to send about the housing/council benefit to be stopped on the 16th October
Wednesday 4 July 2012
6th - 16th September 2010
Monday 6th September 2010
Phoned and cancelled the lifeline they are sending a prepaid envelope to return everything back to them.
Wednesday 8th September
Took in a new duvet and covers when we went in to see mum and I put them on mums bed, she was very sleepy and said that she hadn't slept the night before and she said that she had been cold, I told her that she would be OK tonight now that she had the new duvet.
She asked us where all the others were and I told her that Teresa and Linda were on holiday and Michael was working and she said that she 'never sees the bloody bloke,' I said to her that, yes she did he had come into see her on Saturday, she said that she couldn't remember seeing him.
We stayed with her for about an hour as she was very tired and kept falling asleep. We left her with her TV on, she said that she was going back to bed.
On the way out we saw Daphne and she ask if we had done anything about mums house, I told her that we hadn't done anything yet because we had to wait 4-6 weeks for assessment on mum from the care home, she said that she thought that all would be fine and it would be safe to do that now.
Popped over to make sure all was OK at mums.
Thursday 9th September
Teresa phoned to say that she was going over to mums tomorrow to do some more sorting and wanted me to go over too, I told her that I couldn't go tomorrow, she said that she would still go over but she said that she thought that all 3 of us should go over one day next week, I said that I thought that was good idea. Teresa said that Linda was popping into see mum tomorrow when she goes shopping and that they were all going in on Saturday. She said that Michael had said that she seemed to be worse each time he goes into see her!
Saturday 11th September
Teresa phone to say that she had been into see mum with Michael and that they had taken mum out, they had taken her to a garden centre and then onto Tesco where they had a nice coffee shop she said that mum was fine but that she had not been able to get a whole sentence out, when they took her back she had asked Micheal if it was his house, but that she had been fine about going back in. Teresa said that she has asked for mum to have her hair done on Tuesday.
Teresa and Linda had done a lot more sorting out at mums.
Monday 13th September
Michael came in and collected the paperwork for the housing association as he was going to ring them about giving up the house, he told me he would ring and sort it out on Wednesday
Tuesday 14th September
Tried to sort out Social Services about the collection of all the equipment that was at mums, had to leave a message on their answer phone
We went into see mum, took in some more clothes for her, a waste bin for her room and a couple of new hair brushes.
We went in the afternoon they were just about to have some entertainment in the lounge, mum was asleep in the chair when we got there, the carer went over to her and said 'Annie, you have visitors' I waved to her and she waved but look she looked a bit confused, she asked me if I would like to sit on her lap, I told her that I thought that I was a bit big for that, when she saw John she asked him where Liz was, I said that I was Liz..then she said of course you are. (John thinks that she has regressed and thought that I was younger that I am)
We took her back to her room. She looked really well and had her hair done and looked good,she said that she had seen Mary but we thought that she must have seem someone that looked like her. We had a good laugh with her. John found a welcome pack from the care home in her room which had a mans name on it and John asked her if she had a man in her room and she said 'I wish'.
She found it hard to form a sentence and it was sad to see her struggle so much. We opened her room door so that she could hear the entertainer. We went along to the dining room and when she past the lounge where the entertainment was she was clapping her hands to the music like the rest of them,
She wanted to go back to her room as she said that she was tired so we left her sitting in her chair watching her TV, she had wanted to get into bed but we said that she was better in her chair for now
On the way out Cynthia caught us and ask if we thought that mum would like to go on an outing on Thursday afternoon, we said that we thought that she would love to go, she went it to talk to mum as we left.
Text both Michael and Teresa and told them about the visit, also phoned Daph and she said that Mary and Bev had gone into see mum this morning they had sat with her while she had her hair done, I told her that she had said that she had seen Mary.
I felt a lot better seeing her today she looked like she belonged there.
Thursday 16th September
Picked up Teresa from her house as her bus didn't arrive and we got to mums about 1ish we sorted out a lot of rubbish to throw away and sorted stuff for the charity shop.
Just got to get rid of furniture and get carpets up We started to clear out the cupboards in the outhouse, Linda came over to join us, I had to leave at 4pm.
I am waiting to hear from Michael about phoning the housing association
Phoned and cancelled the lifeline they are sending a prepaid envelope to return everything back to them.
Wednesday 8th September
Took in a new duvet and covers when we went in to see mum and I put them on mums bed, she was very sleepy and said that she hadn't slept the night before and she said that she had been cold, I told her that she would be OK tonight now that she had the new duvet.
She asked us where all the others were and I told her that Teresa and Linda were on holiday and Michael was working and she said that she 'never sees the bloody bloke,' I said to her that, yes she did he had come into see her on Saturday, she said that she couldn't remember seeing him.
We stayed with her for about an hour as she was very tired and kept falling asleep. We left her with her TV on, she said that she was going back to bed.
On the way out we saw Daphne and she ask if we had done anything about mums house, I told her that we hadn't done anything yet because we had to wait 4-6 weeks for assessment on mum from the care home, she said that she thought that all would be fine and it would be safe to do that now.
Popped over to make sure all was OK at mums.
Thursday 9th September
Teresa phoned to say that she was going over to mums tomorrow to do some more sorting and wanted me to go over too, I told her that I couldn't go tomorrow, she said that she would still go over but she said that she thought that all 3 of us should go over one day next week, I said that I thought that was good idea. Teresa said that Linda was popping into see mum tomorrow when she goes shopping and that they were all going in on Saturday. She said that Michael had said that she seemed to be worse each time he goes into see her!
Saturday 11th September
Teresa phone to say that she had been into see mum with Michael and that they had taken mum out, they had taken her to a garden centre and then onto Tesco where they had a nice coffee shop she said that mum was fine but that she had not been able to get a whole sentence out, when they took her back she had asked Micheal if it was his house, but that she had been fine about going back in. Teresa said that she has asked for mum to have her hair done on Tuesday.
Teresa and Linda had done a lot more sorting out at mums.
Monday 13th September
Michael came in and collected the paperwork for the housing association as he was going to ring them about giving up the house, he told me he would ring and sort it out on Wednesday
Tuesday 14th September
Tried to sort out Social Services about the collection of all the equipment that was at mums, had to leave a message on their answer phone
We went into see mum, took in some more clothes for her, a waste bin for her room and a couple of new hair brushes.
We went in the afternoon they were just about to have some entertainment in the lounge, mum was asleep in the chair when we got there, the carer went over to her and said 'Annie, you have visitors' I waved to her and she waved but look she looked a bit confused, she asked me if I would like to sit on her lap, I told her that I thought that I was a bit big for that, when she saw John she asked him where Liz was, I said that I was Liz..then she said of course you are. (John thinks that she has regressed and thought that I was younger that I am)
We took her back to her room. She looked really well and had her hair done and looked good,she said that she had seen Mary but we thought that she must have seem someone that looked like her. We had a good laugh with her. John found a welcome pack from the care home in her room which had a mans name on it and John asked her if she had a man in her room and she said 'I wish'.
She found it hard to form a sentence and it was sad to see her struggle so much. We opened her room door so that she could hear the entertainer. We went along to the dining room and when she past the lounge where the entertainment was she was clapping her hands to the music like the rest of them,
She wanted to go back to her room as she said that she was tired so we left her sitting in her chair watching her TV, she had wanted to get into bed but we said that she was better in her chair for now
On the way out Cynthia caught us and ask if we thought that mum would like to go on an outing on Thursday afternoon, we said that we thought that she would love to go, she went it to talk to mum as we left.
Text both Michael and Teresa and told them about the visit, also phoned Daph and she said that Mary and Bev had gone into see mum this morning they had sat with her while she had her hair done, I told her that she had said that she had seen Mary.
I felt a lot better seeing her today she looked like she belonged there.
Thursday 16th September
Picked up Teresa from her house as her bus didn't arrive and we got to mums about 1ish we sorted out a lot of rubbish to throw away and sorted stuff for the charity shop.
Just got to get rid of furniture and get carpets up We started to clear out the cupboards in the outhouse, Linda came over to join us, I had to leave at 4pm.
I am waiting to hear from Michael about phoning the housing association
Mum settling in and a visit to our house
Wednesday 1st September 2010
We went into see mum she was very, very muddly. Daphne said that she had been muddly for the last couple of days.
We went into her room and I went and got her a cup of tea. We took two photos in that we had put in frames which she seemed very pleased with. She has been and had her hair done and she said that she had been out and had been to the hairdressers, (she had been up in the lift to the hairdressers up stairs in the care home).
She told us that Mary and Roger had been into see her and she was pleased to see them.
I asked Daphne if we could pick her up on Sunday and take her to our house for a short visit. Daphne said that would be fine but it wouldn't be a good idea to take her anywhere near her house.
Mum walked to the Dining room and sat down she waved at another lady as we went in.
The people from the Pension phoned about coming to make me an appointee to deal with mums pension. Sue Lumsden would be coming to the Care Home on Wednesday 22nd September to see me and mum to fill out the forms to make me mums appointee to deal with her pension.
Friday 3rd September
Had a letter from the pension people confirming the appointment on 22nd September. I phoned the care home as they also sent one to mum they told me that any official looking letters address to mum were kept at the desk and given to the family when they came in.
Daphne said that mum was 'full of beans' and that she had just demolished a plate full of fish and chips, I spoke to mum and she sounded a lot better that when we last saw her on Wednesday, she got in a bit of a state about the phone and it took her a while to grasp how to talk to me and then it was an age to get her to give the phone back. Daphne told me that Daph, Dib and Bett had been into see her Today.
Michael phoned to say he is going into see mum tomorrow, he told me that a friend of his had gone into Hartley House to put their mums name down for a place there and mums name was still on their list. We decided to just leave mums name on the list in case things don't work out at Park View. His friend told him that everyone is entitled to the first 12 weeks free when they first go into residential/nursing care . I told him that mum was coming here on Sunday for a while and told him that I would text him when we get back here and he said that he would pop round.
Daph phoned in the evening to say that when they got there the carer was getting mum dressed, Bett sat in mums chair and mum saw her when she came out of the bathroom and was really to see her. She said that they had a good visit.
Daph said that someone had given her a form to fill out about mum, which she thought that we should fill out but they said that they wanted her to fill out as much as she could about mums life story and then others can add to it when they come in so they know as much about mum as possible so that they could prompt mums memory about things. I told her about bringing mum home here on Sunday, she was really surprise and said that she didn't think that it was a good idea and what did Michael think about it. I told her he was OK about it and that we had talked to Daphne about it and she thought that mum was ready as long as we didn't take her anywhere near her house or Hawkhurst.
Saturday 4th September
Daph phoned to say that Philip (mums next door neighbour) had been over and said that mums front door was open they noticed it yesterday, they thought that one of us were there because after a while they looked and it looked closed but it was open again this morning.
I phoned Michael to see if he had been over and he said that he hadn't. Phoned Daph and she said that they had been over and made sure the door was shut properly and that everything was OK
Sunday 5th September
We picked mum up at 10.15am she had forgotten she was coming here and she was really excited, we got her changed, she saw one of the other ladies walking along the corridor and she told her that she was going on her holidays and then she waved at one of the other ladies and when she didn't wave back mum said 'miserable old cow' . She went into the dining room and told them that she was going out and one of the ladies said to her 'you have a nice time dear you deserve it' and then she looked at me and said 'you look after her'.
When we got her to the car mum asked John if he had to pay to get her out, he said 'yes but you can pay me back later' she looked at him and said 'you cheeky bugger'.
She didn't remember our house at all and she said 'imagine if ever I went to my house!' she stayed for a couple of hours and then we took her back, she said I thought that you would take me through the village and John said it's Sunday so there wouldn't be anyone about, when we got her back she said 'what are we doing here and I told her it was where she was staying and she said 'Oh I didn't know that' she want in as good a gold, she was a bit disorientated when we got back in the unit and rambled something about Cranbrook.
We took her back to her room, which was kept locked while mum was out, when we opened the door she looked at the photos on the window sill and said 'good that's where they are' We put the TV on for her and left her quite happily having a doze.
We went into see mum she was very, very muddly. Daphne said that she had been muddly for the last couple of days.
We went into her room and I went and got her a cup of tea. We took two photos in that we had put in frames which she seemed very pleased with. She has been and had her hair done and she said that she had been out and had been to the hairdressers, (she had been up in the lift to the hairdressers up stairs in the care home).
She told us that Mary and Roger had been into see her and she was pleased to see them.
I asked Daphne if we could pick her up on Sunday and take her to our house for a short visit. Daphne said that would be fine but it wouldn't be a good idea to take her anywhere near her house.
Mum walked to the Dining room and sat down she waved at another lady as we went in.
The people from the Pension phoned about coming to make me an appointee to deal with mums pension. Sue Lumsden would be coming to the Care Home on Wednesday 22nd September to see me and mum to fill out the forms to make me mums appointee to deal with her pension.
Friday 3rd September
Had a letter from the pension people confirming the appointment on 22nd September. I phoned the care home as they also sent one to mum they told me that any official looking letters address to mum were kept at the desk and given to the family when they came in.
Daphne said that mum was 'full of beans' and that she had just demolished a plate full of fish and chips, I spoke to mum and she sounded a lot better that when we last saw her on Wednesday, she got in a bit of a state about the phone and it took her a while to grasp how to talk to me and then it was an age to get her to give the phone back. Daphne told me that Daph, Dib and Bett had been into see her Today.
Michael phoned to say he is going into see mum tomorrow, he told me that a friend of his had gone into Hartley House to put their mums name down for a place there and mums name was still on their list. We decided to just leave mums name on the list in case things don't work out at Park View. His friend told him that everyone is entitled to the first 12 weeks free when they first go into residential/nursing care . I told him that mum was coming here on Sunday for a while and told him that I would text him when we get back here and he said that he would pop round.
Daph phoned in the evening to say that when they got there the carer was getting mum dressed, Bett sat in mums chair and mum saw her when she came out of the bathroom and was really to see her. She said that they had a good visit.
Daph said that someone had given her a form to fill out about mum, which she thought that we should fill out but they said that they wanted her to fill out as much as she could about mums life story and then others can add to it when they come in so they know as much about mum as possible so that they could prompt mums memory about things. I told her about bringing mum home here on Sunday, she was really surprise and said that she didn't think that it was a good idea and what did Michael think about it. I told her he was OK about it and that we had talked to Daphne about it and she thought that mum was ready as long as we didn't take her anywhere near her house or Hawkhurst.
Saturday 4th September
Daph phoned to say that Philip (mums next door neighbour) had been over and said that mums front door was open they noticed it yesterday, they thought that one of us were there because after a while they looked and it looked closed but it was open again this morning.
I phoned Michael to see if he had been over and he said that he hadn't. Phoned Daph and she said that they had been over and made sure the door was shut properly and that everything was OK
Sunday 5th September
We picked mum up at 10.15am she had forgotten she was coming here and she was really excited, we got her changed, she saw one of the other ladies walking along the corridor and she told her that she was going on her holidays and then she waved at one of the other ladies and when she didn't wave back mum said 'miserable old cow' . She went into the dining room and told them that she was going out and one of the ladies said to her 'you have a nice time dear you deserve it' and then she looked at me and said 'you look after her'.
When we got her to the car mum asked John if he had to pay to get her out, he said 'yes but you can pay me back later' she looked at him and said 'you cheeky bugger'.
She didn't remember our house at all and she said 'imagine if ever I went to my house!' she stayed for a couple of hours and then we took her back, she said I thought that you would take me through the village and John said it's Sunday so there wouldn't be anyone about, when we got her back she said 'what are we doing here and I told her it was where she was staying and she said 'Oh I didn't know that' she want in as good a gold, she was a bit disorientated when we got back in the unit and rambled something about Cranbrook.
We took her back to her room, which was kept locked while mum was out, when we opened the door she looked at the photos on the window sill and said 'good that's where they are' We put the TV on for her and left her quite happily having a doze.
Thursday 17 May 2012
Saturday 21st August - Sunday 29th August 2010
Saturday 21st August 2010
I phoned
the care home and spoke to mum, she sounded very tired and a bit down today, she
said that she was bored, we chatted for about 10 minutes. Jasmine said that she had eaten her breakfast
and that all was OK.
Michael and
Teresa were going in to see her today.
Sunday 22nd August
Phoned
Michael to see how mum was when he went into see her yesterday, he told me that
when they got there she was in her room and just going to get into her bed, she
said that she needed a rest as she was tired.
They stayed
for a while and when they left she walked to the end of corridor and said she
would go back to her room as she was tired, they had left her TV on for her.
We went
over to mums house to check everything was OK; everything was fine, although we
noticed that the back gate was wide open.
Monday 23rd August
We went
into see mum and she looks really well, she had just had a bath and she said
that she had really enjoyed it, she only mentioned her house once.
We took her
out in the garden as it was a lovely day; we had a look around at all the flowers
and roses and then sat in a really nice sunny spot for about ½ an hour or
so. We went back inside and sat in the
dining room for a little while and then we took her back to her room, when we went
to go she asked us what were we doing today and that she might as well come
with us, I told her that she couldn’t and she seemed OK with that.We had parked
the car right outside her room window and she waved to us as we left.
I texted Michael,
Teresa and Daph to say that we had been in to see mum today. Teresa phone and said that she was going in
with Lissa tomorrow and she is also going over to mums house later in the week.
Friday 27th August
Phoned the
home and spoke to mum she was making cakes in the dining room. She was really
pleased that I had phone, she sounded really good when we first started talking
but after a little while she got really confused, she didn’t sound
unhappy. She did ask about Christmas and
I told her that she would be going to Michaels as she always did. I told her that I would be coming in on
Sunday with Laura, she asked when Michael would be going in and I told her I
thought that he would be in tomorrow (Saturday).
I phoned
regarding mums pension, pension credit and attendance allowance, mum continues
to get paid in full for 28 days after moving into a care home. If mum stays in the home she does not have to
have a power of attorney but she must have a ‘Appointee Officer’ who can talk
on her behalf, a visiting officer would visit mum and the person appointed to deal
with mum pension, she suggested that it would be a good idea if I did it as I
was already dealing with mum pension for her. Mum would be assessed to see what
benefits she is entitled to. This can be
paid into mums bank account, my bank account or straight to the care home. A letter would be sent to me with the appointment
date
Sunday 29th August
Laura and
John took me into see mum she was looking out of the dining room window, she
was really pleased to see us, we all kissed her, she looked at John (C) and
said aren’t you going to give me a kiss, when he did, she looked at him and
said ‘do I know you!’. She did say that someone was missing and I told her that
John hadn’t come in with us today. She looked well but was very muddily today. Laura
was quite surprised quite how bad she had got lately.
She kept saying
that Michael had been into see her, Laura had taken in some home made biscuits in
for her with is enjoyed, she ate 3 while we were there. Her bed had been
stripped as she had wet her bed, but this didn’t seem to have bothered her. One
of the cleaners told us that she was shampooing the carpet and sorting mums bed
for her.
We went
along to the dining room with her as she was about to have Sunday lunch, she
went over to one of the other ladies and started to chat to her. Mum seems to like the male carer called
Mervyn and had a little laugh with him. John © had a chat to the other ladies
that were in the dining room. I didn’t
realise just how much the old ladies love the men!!!!
I took in
one of her cushions and few other bits from her house for her and asked if mum
could have some pictures put up on her wall in her room and they said that she
could and they would get their handyman to put them up for her.
I asked if
we could take Herbie our dog into see mum and they said that well behaved dogs
were always welcome.
Mum was quite
happy when we left she hadn’t asked about her house once while we there. Daphne the care manager came into the dining
room before we left and told us that mum had stopped asking t go home and that
she had settle well, the only thing that mum did keep mentioning was about
Christmas.
She was
fine when we left
Wednesday 16 May 2012
Mums first week in the Care Home
Saturday 14th August 2010
I phoned
the care home, they said that Michael and Teresa had just left, mum was very
confused and agitated, she had eaten her lunch and was in the dining room. I
asked if she was OK when they left and she that that she had been fine
She had all
her clothes out on the bed to pack, they had to take them away from her and
only left one of everything that she needed in her wardrobe. I told them that this is what she did at
home, everyday she took all her clothes out and I would put them all back when
I went over.
Teresa
phoned and said that mum still says that she is coming home. When Teresa went to go mum said to her that she would see her on Saturday and Teresa had to tell
her it was Saturday today, to which mum said ‘well I’ve been here for years’.
Teresa
wonders whether mum would be better in the smaller unit that we had looked at
when we had a look round, there are two ladies that bother mum, one who wails
most of the time and one who stares, I said that I would ask Daphne when I
phoned tomorrow, she is on duty from 8 – 4pm.
Teresa also said that when mum said about coming home she had told her that
Dr Wood had said that she had to stay there for a rest and that it is her that
mum blames and not me.
Teresa and
Linda are going in on Monday and why didn’t I go in on Wednesday. I told her
that I would stick to my original plan and go in at the end of the week ( I
really don’t think they realise just how much the last 2 years have taken out
of me!)
Sunday 15th August
We went
over to mums and emptied the freezer and turned it off, took some
gardening tools out of the greenhouse
and put them in the outhouse for safety we also took some pots of flowers home.
Phoned the
care home and spoke to Daphne she said that mum was asking to go home this
morning and had put all her clothes on the bed, she said that they were
thinking of taking her wardrobe out of her room. Because her clothes were all out on the bed
she thinks that they all got muddled up and were sent to the laundry.
When mum
said to her that she wanted to go home, Daphne told her that I had to go into
hospital to have the operation on my knee and that there would be no one to
look after her, mum said to her ‘well she hasn’t had it done yet!’ Daphne said
the she changed the subject. Mum is now
fine and she is sitting in the dining room talking to 3 other ladies and they
are chatting, there have been no tears, aggression or pacing up and down the
corridors and she is acting like most people who first go into the home. One
lady they had there was asking for 5 1/2
years to go home but sometimes they don’t mean the home that they had
just come from but the one she was in when she was a child.
I asked
Daphne about mum going over to the smaller unit and she said that they are very
confrontational and argue a lot in that unit and don’t talk to each other, that’s why she
thought that mum was better in Ash Unit.
I mentioned
about the 2 ladies that bother mum and she told me that the lady that ‘wails’
is the only way she can communicate and that the lady that stares suffers from
tunnel vision and that she was going into nursing care soon.
They are
changing mum’s doctor to the care home one and that he goes in every Tuesday and
Thursday morning but if mum needed a doctor he would be called in. If mum ever had to go into hospital we would
be contacted and a carer would be with her until one of the family got to the
hospital.
I told
Daphne about Teresa telling mum that Dr Wood had said that she needed to be
there for a rest and she said that they would continue on that theme.
Monday 16th August
When I
phone the care home to see how mum was she was having a bath so phoned again
later. Jasmine told me that mum was
fine, I spoke to her and she asked if I was going to take her home, I told her that,
No, I couldn’t as Dr Wood has said that she had to stay there for a rest, she said
that it is full of old people here and that she would get herself out and walk
home, I told her that it was too far to walk home and she couldn’t do that’ I
heard her shout ‘shut up’ to someone and when I asked who she was shouting at, she said
that the woman couldn’t talk properly and
I said to her, perhaps she wants to be your friend and her answer was, well I don’t want to be a friend of her!
I told mum that
we would be in on Wednesday and that Teresa and Linda would be in to see her
later on today to see her she asked me who they were!
Tuesday 17th August
We picked
Teresa up from Cranbrook and John dropped us of at mums house, there was an
awful smell in the house so we opened all the windows and doors, we cleaned out
all the food cupboards and threw out all the out of date food, we then did out
the cabinets in the front room and put all the photos in a bag to sort through
later, we then went upstairs and sorted out the clothes in the wardrobes.
Teresa took a lot of mums good clothes that were too small for her home with
her to keep in her loft for mum.
We put all
the documents and papers we found all together to one side so that we could all
go through them with Michael.
We then
went into mum’s bedroom and went through all her bits in her dressing table
Teresa took mums expensive watch for safe keeping, she found the box that mum
had got it in when she first purchased it.
While we
were at mums John phoned the housing association who told him that we had 4
weeks to sort out mums house, we could have longer but we would have to pay the
rent, we had to take everything out of the house including the carpets otherwise
we would be charge for disposing of it.
Wednesday 18th August
When we went
into see mum we took a bottle of wine in with us which we labeled with her
name and room number and also some cream cakes, tissues and biscuits. We also took in the framed photos of her
garden for her to put on the wall in her room.
The care
home was easy to get to, we got there about 10.30am, John was really shocked that it
was a secure unit, we have a code number to punch in before we can get out of
the unit.
I spoke to
Jasmine about the lady who wails all the time and she said that mums room was
well away from hers so it shouldn’t bother her when she is in her room, she was having her eye drops
put in when we got there, she was really happy to see us, she took us (with a
little bit of help) to see her room, it looked a little bare without any of her ‘stuff’
in it, but it is a lovely sunny room.
She asked us if she was going home and we had to tell her that she had
to stay a little longer, she said, who told you that, I told her that Dr Wood
had told me, she said to me, you liar, you are making it all up. John told her
that Dr Wood talks to the people in charge of the home and not to us, she
seemed quite cheerful but kept on about her house.
The staff
are really nice and we stayed for a couple of hours, when we left mum walked
along the corridor with us, I gave her a kiss and she walked off to talk to a
couple of ladies in the dining room.
While we
were with mum her friend Lily phoned to talk to her, mum didn’t know who she
was until I spoke to her and explained to mum who it was.
I gave
Claire in the office £50.00 for mums ‘pocket money’ she had her hair done
yesterday and would need other things and I didn’t want her to be embarrassed.
On the way
home we talked about the home and decided that it wasn’t ideal but the only
option at the moment but we made a pact that if she is really, really unhappy we
would try and sort something else out, we could have her here for 5 days and
the others could help at the weekends.
Thursday 19th August
I phoned a
couple of mum’s friends to tell them how mum was yesterday, Dib and Daph are
going in to see her today.
In the
evening we went over to mums to check on the house and see if everything was Ok
(I felt a bit tearful walking in and she wasn’t there). We then went over to D & D’s, they had been
in to see mum today, they both thought that the home was very nice but not sure
if it was the right place for mum! They said that mum was Ok and that they like
her room, mum had taken then into the dining room and shown them the lady that
she talks too, they stayed for a couple of hours. Mum stood at the window and waved to them
when they left.
Friday 20th August
Michael phoned
to say that he had received a letter from the care home saying that mum was on
a 4 – 6 weeks trial to see if she settles and that she is right for the home
and not to give up her house until then or do anything irreversible.
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Mum goes into the Care Home.
Monday 9th
August 2010
Daphne from
Park View Care home phoned to say that they have a room ready for mum, it is on
Ash Unit Room 36, and could we take her in either Tuesday or Wednesday. I told her I would have a word with Michael
and Teresa and I would phone her back.
I got in
touch with Michael and he said that he was fine about taking mum into Park View
on Wednesday afternoon; he told me that Teresa would phone me when she got home
from work. I phone Daphne at Park View and told her that Michael and Teresa would
bring mum in on Wednesday afternoon.
When Teresa
phoned she said that she was OK about going in with Michael on Wednesday and we
arranged to meet at mums tomorrow (Tuesday) to get things ready for her to take
with her, she asked if mum knew and I told her that she didn’t she said that we
should tell her.
When Michael
went to pick her up on Saturday she wasn’t in and he found her in the
supermarket, she had a packet of sausage casserole mix and a bread sauce mix in
her basket, when they got back to her house they couldn’t get in as she hadn’t taken
he key with her, she had come out of the front door and shut it behind her.
Tuesday 10th August
We got to
mums just before 8am, I gave her breakfast and her medications and
helped her have her bath. After her bath I told her about going on a little
holiday tomorrow, she said very loudly ‘Oh no’ (I felt awful, as I knew that
she had realised in her own way that she was going into a care home) she asked
me if they knew, I asked her if she meant Michael and Teresa and she said ‘Yes’,
she then asked if they know too, she pointed to the ceiling I asked her if she
meant the people who owned the house and she said ‘Yes’ again, I told her not
to worry about that but she kept on and on about it, in the end I asked her if
she would like me to tell them and she ‘Yes’, so I said that is what I would do.
She said that I am not going for long, I kept changing the subject.
We went up
to the supermarket and got a few bits for her and then we went to D & D’s
for coffee. I phoned the carers and
cancelled them from Wednesday evening and had a talk with Jane the owner and
explained everything that was happening.
We met
Teresa in Cranbrook and we went to mums. John dropped us off and we sorted out her
things to take in with her, clothes etc.
We also put in her wall clock, 2 books and her photo album. Teresa washed and set her hair for her. Lissa and
Frankie also came over to see mum before she went into the care home tomorrow
The carer
was late at lunchtime as they had had an emergency call out, she had given mum
a cooked meal that I had taken over.
Mum wanted
to go to bed at 5pm but we managed to keep her up until the carer
came in, she gave mum a sandwich and her medications. Michael came in and he had a cup of tea with
us, we left mums at 6pm he took me home and then took Teresa home.
Wednesday 11th August
Sharon Hale
phoned me and said ‘your mums gone into the care home then?’ I said that yes she
had gone in today, she asked me for the full address and phone no. she thought
that mum was going in on the 18th not today!
I asked
Sharon about mums pension and attendance allowance etc and she told me to leave
it until next week to sort out just in case mum comes home, also to do the same
with the Housing association, mum will continue to get her pension and KCC will bill either me or Michael
I think
that mums pension will be paid into her bank account so a direct debit could be
set up to pay the KCC to pay mums portion of the care home fees, mum gets to
keep £23.00 of her pension as ‘pocket money’.
She is not
sure how long we get to sort out the house it does all depend on the housing
association but she thinks it is between 2 – 4 weeks.
Michael
phoned me to say that it all went OK but mum said that she is only staying for
a week and then she is coming home as it is full of old people in here! She also
said to Michael, shall we go home, he told her that they had paid for a week’s holiday
so she had to stay. She said that she wanted to go home;
Michael told me that we would give it a week and if she didn't settle we would have to bring her home.I told him that we had all got to pull together; I had been to the hospital today and have got to have a knee replacement within the next 3 months and that I would be out of action for about 6 weeks and that I couldn’t do it, he told me that was when Teresa goes to Australia, I felt really upset.
Michael told me that we would give it a week and if she didn't settle we would have to bring her home.I told him that we had all got to pull together; I had been to the hospital today and have got to have a knee replacement within the next 3 months and that I would be out of action for about 6 weeks and that I couldn’t do it, he told me that was when Teresa goes to Australia, I felt really upset.
Michael
said that they had told them at the care home to leave it for a couple of days
before going in to see her, I told him that I would not be going in until next
week as I was originally advised to do by Sharon Hale at Social Services.
Thursday 12th August
I phoned
Park View to see how mum was they told me mum was fine, she had slept OK and
was in the dining room having her breakfast and did I want to talk to her but I
said that I wouldn’t as she thinks that I am in hospital but tell her I phoned
and that I am OK.
Friday 13th August
Phoned the
care home and they told me that mum is eating, drinking and sleeping OK but she
had been asking how she could go out and go home and also asked where her
family were. I asked if we could take a
TV in for her and they told me that they would put one in her room for her.
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