Wednesday 3rd October 2012
Teresa and Lissa went into see mum today, she was laying on on her bed, the staff said that it is more comfortable for her, she is still waiting for her air mattress, she only managed to eat a few spoonfuls of food, they changed her blouse and vest as she was very grubby. Teresa said that it hit her just how thin mum is now.
Mum was very muddled and they were both upset seeing her like this, she asked Teresa to take her home and said that she was frightened. Teresa has decided to go in again on Friday as well as the weekend, I told her that we are going in tomorrow, I told her that I would speak to her tomorrow after we had been in.
Daphne told Teresa that mum had got out of bed and into her chair herself, she was very surprised and thought one of the other staff had got her out.
Thursday 4th October
Mum was in her armchair, the air mattress had been delivered, at last, they are going to get it onto the bed later on today. I bent down to kiss mum and she looked up and said 'my daughter', she was rambling today and looked so very frail and thin, she did surprise us by picking up her drink and doing it herself, she looked very grubby so I changed her top, she got very distressed said ' No, no, no' and told me to 'bugger off,' she soon settled back down, perhaps that is why they are not changing her, as she gets so distressed ..
We put her TV on for her and someone on the screen said John, she looked at John and said 'You' she kept pointing and saying 'That's Char'... (Teresa went to see a medium who told her that a spirit is looking over mum and she is sure that it is Uncle Charlie..perhaps she is right)
Mum is absolutely exhausted and I wonder just how long she can go on like this and how much more time we will have with her.
Mary phoned this evening and I told her how she was this morning, she is phoning again at the weekend.
Friday 5th October
Teresa text to say mum was not too bad today she had eaten some weetabix and she had managed a smile, she is going in again on Sunday, I told her we would be going in to see her on Monday.
Monday 8th October
It took a long time to get mum to open her eyes, she looked very uncomfortable in her chair, she always has her legs crossed, almost doubled up, she looked up and said 'lovely' once she realised we were there, she looks so tired and worn out. We could hardly understand anything that she said.
Mervyn told us that she had eaten some Ready Brek for her breakfast, he left us a yogurt and we managed to get her to eat half the pot, we only stayed for an hour as she went back to sleep.
I phoned and talked to Laura in the evening and gently asked her if she would like to go in and see Nan, she said that she would like to go in, so we decided to go in on Saturday .
I text Mary and Teresa text me and said that she was going in on Thursday.
Tuesday 9th October
Laura text to say that her boss had given her the morning off on Thursday so that she could go in and see Nan, I text Teresa and told her that Laura wanted to go in and see mum she said that she would change her day to Friday.
Thursday 11th October
Mum is getting so much weaker, she had eaten a few spoonfuls of breakfast, I got her to eat almost a whole pot of yogurt, Laura and John C came together to see mum, John saw them out of the window so he went and met them. Laura was really shocked how much weight mum had lost, mum didn't really realise that Laura was there until Laura got right up close to her, mum gave her a lovely smile, she tried to tell us something be we couldn't understand what she was trying to tell us.
Yolanda, the carer, told me that mum gets out of breath just doing the smallest of things, she looks so weak and feeble. When we left Laura kissed her and said goodbye, she looked at Laura and said 'Nite, Nite' Laura said that she would see her later and she said 'Okey dokey'
How much longer can she go on like this... she is hardly eating anything at all, I hate seeing her like this..
Friday 12th October
I had a phone call from Michael to say that mum is not doing very well, the doctor has been called, we were out walking the dog, John dropped me off at Michael's and we went into the home, mum was very agitated, we feel that mum is very near her time to leave us. The doctor came and has taken her off of all her medication, we don't want mum to go into hospital, the doctor agreed, he said that they would only give her fluids and then send her back to the home again and he felt that anything could happen on the way, The nursing care upstairs is full, we said that we would really like mum to stay where she is . They said that they could put a tube in mums stomach and give her fluids but no nourishment. the doctor said that she must stay in bed as she keeps slipping down in her chair and getting very uncomfortable.
They used the hoist to get her into bed and they raised the sides of the bed which they also put padding on so she doesn't hurt herself, they are using swabs to put water round her lips and a glycerine swab around her lips to keep them moist..The doctor has prescribe morphine patches, we left about 7.30pm, if there is any change during the day or night they will phone us all.
Saturday 13th Ocotbder
John and I got into mum at 9.30 am. John stayed for a couple of hours and then he went leaving me with mum, she gave John a lovely wink when he told her he was going and she said to him 'come on'. I spent valuable time with mum on my own, she tried so hard to talk to me but it was hard to understand what she was saying it was heartbreaking.
The carers are bring so good, they are turning her every 2 hours, I ended up with a terrible headache and went and walked around and sat in the garden. Karen got me some tea and biscuits, she told me that she had a shock when she saw mum as she had been off for 4 days and didn't realise just how mum had gone down hill in those 4 days. Tina also said the same, no one had told her how bad mum was.
Teresa , Michael, Lissa and Holly came in just before 3 pm. John came and picked me up and we got home about 4ish. Teresa phoned later and said there wasn't any change and that she was going back in tomorrow with Lissa, Steve is also coming down and going in with Michael.
Sunday 14th October
We got into mum about 3.30 pm, Steven and Michael were there, Teresa and Lissa have gone to get a coffee, Steve was really shocked when he saw mum. The carers came and turned mum, she is so worn out, just turning her is such an effort for her, she then slept.
Teresa and Lissa came back. Teresa and I helped give mum a bed bath, it was such a shock for us to see just how thin she was, just like a skeleton, she was such a big lady and now just skin and bone.. terrible to see, not like the mum I used to go and help bath when she was at home..
When they all left John and I stayed on for another hour, until the carers came back to turn her again.
Sophie and Daphne, the carers, both said that they were off tomorrow but would call to see how mum is.
Monday 15th October
I just felt that I couldn't go in to see mum today, I phoned and spoke to Daphne, she said that there wasn't any change, I got a bit tearful and upset, Daphne said that it is normal to feel like that and that she would phone me if there was any change.
I phoned Teresa she said that mum was sleeping most of the time that she was there,. I told her that we were going in tomorrow to see her.
Tuesday 16th October
We got into the care home at 10.30 am, mum was sleeping but very agitated, we did manage to chat to her but she was unable to speak, Sophie and Michala, the carers, came and turned her, Sophie told me that mum had said 'where's Lizzie' on Sunday.
The carers are so good with her and she responds to their voices. We stayed and chatted to her. Cynthia came in and asked if mum was unwell, she noticed that mum had gone downhill but not as much as she had.
She was sleeping, so we kissed her and told her we would see her later, when we got to the door she started mumbling so we went in and she was pushing the covers off, John said to her 'you coming with us then' she said quite clearly 'yes please'.
The girls came back in to turn her, we had a chat with them they are looking after mum so well and are so dedicated and respectful to mum.
The doctor came and authorised another morphine patch could be used.
Wednesday 17th October
John dropped me off at Michaels just before 3pm and we went into the care home together, Teresa was already there, mum was very agitated, they had put another morphine patch on her. Daphne had told Teresa that we should be prepared for mum to leaves in the next 24 hours, she is still trying to talk to us. The carers are continuing to turn mum ever 2 hours they are also putting cream on her to stop any bed sores, she does not like laying on her back and is more comfortable on her right side, she is struggling with breathing so much it is heartbreaking to watch.
We left when we thought she was comfortable, I got home just after 7pm. We are preparing ourselves for a phone call in the night. I phoned Andrew, Mary and auntie Nora to prepare them.
I phoned Chris from Perigoes (Funeral directors) at home to ask her advice about what we should do and the procedure about what happens about mum, she was very helpful.
It's been a hard day ...
Thursday 18th October
John cancelled his appointment for his medical today as he wanted to come in with me to see mum, we picked Teresa up and got to the care home just before 10am , mum was much worse this morning, John stayed for a couple of hours, he got very upset seeing mum struggling so much he had to leave.
Teresa and I stayed with mum and we talked about the family and all the things we had done, the funny things that had happened, we talked about Dad, Nan and Pop and all the good times we had as a family.
It was entertainment day and there was a chap singing, very badly, old time songs that mum loved, so Teresa and I joined in, mum would have been singing too if she could.
The carers continued to come and turn mum every 2 hours, she got very distressed being on her back so they only turned her from one side to the other, she struggled with her breathing so much all day. The carers gave us lots of tea and later on in the day they made us some sandwiches. Mum frightened us by having a choking fit, we had to call Daphne, we managed to to lift her head and she caught her breath again. She was trying so hard to stay with us she just would not let go, we told her that we would all look after each other and she shouldn't worry.
Michael came in about 3.30 pm, mums feet had started to turn blue, then her fingers and slowly we watch as the blueness travelled up her body, her breathing suddenly changed to a very shallow sound, then at 7 pm she left us. We were all there with her, It was a very sad moment but I felt relieved for her that she was at rest at last. I kissed her and thanked her for just being her.
Daphne and the other carers have been very good and supportive all day and we were all very grateful, I caught Daphne having a few tears as she had been very fond of mum.
Daphne came and laid mum on her back, she talked to mum all the time, apologising when she moved her, which I found very touching at how respectful she was. Honey the Nursing care nurse had to be called so that she could confirm mums passing..
I asked Daphne if she could lock mums door, which she did, we went and found all the carers and thanked them all for looking after mum.
Nite Nite mum, sleep tight... I loved you so much and I will miss you every day with all my heart xxxxxxxxxxxx
