Mums first fall and trip to A & E

Monday 11^th October 2010

I had a phone call from Daphne at the care home to say that mum had a fall and that she was at the A & E at William Harvey Hospital, Ashford, she had gone in an ambulance.  I phoned Michael to get him to go to the hospital and be with her in A & E, he phoned back and said that she had a black eye, she said that her knee had given way and she had lost her balance, they took an x-ray of her knee, they think that she may had a cyst behind her knee, they advised that she be checked by the GP in case she had a black out, she must keep her leg elevated, they told Michael that she would go back to the home by ambulance and that he needn’t stay with her.  

I phoned Daphne after about an hour and she said that mum wasn’t back and she thought that Michael would have brought her back to the care home as hospital transport takes ages to arrange, I phoned Daphne back and asked if it would be possible to arrange for a taxi to pick mum up and the cost charged to mums account, she said she thought that could be arranged and would have a word with the office.

Michael phoned later in the evening and said that the care home had phoned him and said that mum had a water infection and they are getting the GP to see her tomorrow.

Tuesday 12^th October 2010     

We picked mums friend Bett up and took her in with us to see mum, spoke to Daphne about mum as the GP had just left and she said that he couldn’t find anything wrong but he had taken her off her blood pressure tablets and her blood pressure was fine.  He has given her stronger antibiotics to sort out her water infection.

I gave Daphne the appointment card and information from the eye clinic, she said that she would give it to the GP for referral to William Harvey.

Mum looked well apart from two black eyes, which they thought may have been partly caused by her glasses digging into her face when she fell, her knee just had a small bruise and was slightly swollen, the carer has taken her stick away as she must now use the walking frame (she has to be assessed by the physio before she gets one of her own!). She had trouble grasping how to use it. She doesn’t remember anything about the ambulance or the hospital

She was very pleased to see Bett,  Bett took in a photo of  mum with all the ladies from the British Legion she was quite interested in that but unable to say who they were. While we were there the carer came over and said that they thought it would be a good idea to change mums room round and put the bed against the wall instead of the middle of the room as they thought that she may have shuffled around the bed and tripped, we thought that was a really good idea. The maintenance man had changed her room around before we left and we thought that it looked so much better and gave her so much more space to move about in, he also measured up to put mums clock and pictures on the wall which he said he would do tomorrow.

The carer told us that this afternoon they were going to sit mum in the lounge with her foot elevated while she watches the entertainment. We caught Daphne and asked if the meeting with Social Services was still on for the 19^th and she said that yes she thought that it was.  I told her that we still hadn’t had any correspondence from Sharon Hale at Social Services.  Left some money in the office for mums ‘pocket money’

Phoned Teresa and passed on info also phoned Linda for her to tell Michael  

Wednesday 13^th October

As we hadn’t heard anything from Social Services regarding the meeting on the 19^th I phoned them and was told that Sharon Hale was on holiday, they looked in her diary and they told me that she hadn’t written anything in there about the meeting at the care home, they looked through her phone messages and said that there was one on the 28^th September for her to phone care home!.  I told them that we all needed to know if the meeting was on or not, they told me that they would e-mail Sharon Hale and get her to phone me tomorrow.  They told me that it was not like Sharon to not inform them or write in her diary of any meetings

Michael dropped in the keys for mum’s house so that we could take them to the housing association on Friday.

Thursday 14^th October

Sharon Hale phoned to say that the meeting was on for the 19^th and that she DID have it marked in her diary! She said that she had asked the care home to advise us.  I said that I thought that we would have been advised in writing by Social Services.

Text Teresa and told her we would pick her u at 9.45am she said could we pick her up from work

Friday 15^th October

We took the keys into the housing association and got a receipt for the keys

Sunday 3rd - Thursday 7th October 2010

Sunday 3^rd October 2010

Went over to mums house to see that all was OK, I noticed that a lot of the rubbish from the house had been cleared .  I called over to D & D’s house for them to come over so that they could take a few bits of mums that they would like, D told me that Mary and Roger were going into see mum today.

D phoned in the evening to say that Mary had noticed a bruise over mums eye, she went and asked when had happened, the care staff member had looked in the accident book and told her that it had been logged down that mum had fallen over and there was diagram of where she had bumped her head, she told Mary that she had done it on Friday and there hadn’t been a mark or bruise there on Friday or Saturday  (none of the family had been informed!)  Mary had also noticed that mum had trouble getting out of chair as she said that her knees were hurting.

Monday 4^th October

Phoned the care home and spoke to Daphne she said that she had been off at the weekend and didn’t know anything about mum having a fall, she looked up mums notes and told me that mum had been found on the floor, mum said that she had bend down to pick something up from the floor and fallen over.  I told Daphne about mums knees and that she had trouble getting out of chair, she said that she would give mum some pain killers and keep an eye on her.  She said that mum was fine this morning.

Daphne asked me if Social Services had been in touch as they had phoned them regarding the meeting regarding mum staying at the home.  The meeting has been arranged for Tuesday October 19th at 10.30am, when I came off the phone I text Michael and Teresa with the details.   

Tuesday 5^th October

Michael called in with the bill from KCC for mums portion of her fees for the care home, It was decided that I would get the cash out of mums account and give him the cash so that he could write a cheque, then get mums pension paid straight into her bank account and set up a DD to pay the care home fees to KCC.

Wednesday 6^th October

I phoned and sorted mums pension to be paid directly into her bank account to start from 12^th October.

I then phoned KCC about mums fees being paid by DD from her bank account and they said that as mum already had an arrangement with them when she had carers that had never been cancelled there would not be a problem with that, they would get it sorted ASAP, all statements would come to me as I had the authority to talk on mums behalf.

John took me over to D & D’s and I went in to see mum with them, when we got there Teresa was there with mum it was a good visit apart from the bruise on her eye looked quite bad her eye looked very weepy and we asked for it to be bathed, the carer went and got someone to look at it who told us that they only do basic eye care and that if it didn’t improve that they would get a doctor to look at it.

I asked them about the eye appointment that mum had at our local hospital and they told me to ring and ask them to transfer the appointment to the hospital near the care home.

Thursday 7^th October  

I phoned the eye clinic at Pembury and they said that the G.P at the care home must contact the eye department at the William Harvey hospital for an appointment and they would have to ask for the notes to be transferred to them.

Phone about cancelling mums TV License they said to check that the care home is covered and that mum doesn’t need a license there.  Phoned the home and they told me that the home is covered for all the over 75’s so I wrote a letter and cancelled the license.  

The arranging starts to give up the house..

Saturday 25^th September 2010

Popped over to see all was Ok at mums, everything was in order.

Monday 27^th September

Laura and I got to mums house at 9am to wait for Social Service to pick up all the equipment that had to be returned to them, they arrived at 10.15am but they couldn’t get the frame off the armchair so they had to leave it on it, they said that it was Ok and not too worry about it.

I phoned and sorted BT (phone), EDF (Electricity and Gas) to be disconnected on the 16^th October.

We had decided to send all the unwanted bits and pieces to the British Legion for their poppy appeal jumble sale, instead of the charity shop, as mum was heavily involved with the women’s section as she had been the Chair woman of the Hawkhurst branch.  Dib came over and Laura and I helped him take all the boxes over to his house ready for them to take up to the British Legion store cupboard ready for the jumble sale.

I sorted some photos and put them all together to go through later, we also went though some paperwork, Laura got a bit upset when we found a lovely letter written to mum from Johns mum when Dad died.

Michael came in and we filled out the form to send to the Housing Association, I put his name, address and phone number on the form so that they could contact him with any queries.

Laura and I sorted through some more of the stuff in the front room and she took a few things home with her that were mums to keep as mementos.  We left just after 1pm.

When I got home there was a letter re; housing/council tax benefits asking for the date of the end of the tenancy, and the date when mum first went into the care home.  I wrote straight back to them enclosing all the details that they asked for in the letter.

I wrote to the water companies telling them the date that we would be ending the tenancy and asked for all correspondence to be send to me

Wednesday 29^th September

We parked outside mums room and we saw her through the window, John tapped on the window and she was really pleased to see us, when we got to her room the carer was getting her washed and dressed, she said that mum had put on 3 tops and 2 skirts when she first got dressed and that they had to take her and get her re-dressed, the carer was really nice and had a joke with mum about it.

Mum looked really well and happy, she is having trouble putting sentences together that make sense, but we managed to have a laugh and joke with her, it must be so frustrating for her.

She told us that Michael was starting work outside her window soon.  We walked back to the dining from with her to get her seated at the dining table ready for her lunch, she waved out of the window when we went.

Thursday 30^th September 2010   

Filled out the forms and sent cheque for the post to be redirected to here also wrote to the insurance company re her life insurance and post office with her change of account

Getting Mums house & Pension sorted - Saturday 18th -Friday 24th September 2010

 Saturday 18th September 2010

We went over to mums house just to check that everything was OK

Sunday 19th September

Wrote cards to send to everyone telling them that mum was now in the care home, enclosing the address and phone number to post on Monday


Monday 20th September

Michael phoned the housing association and sorted out mums house, we have until 16th October to clear everything out and must hand in the keys by 12 noon on the Monday (18th), otherwise we will be charged another weeks rent.  They are sending a form which has to be send to mums house and that mum must sign it!

Michael said that he has a skip coming tomorrow and he will have it at his house and take things to be dumped in his truck to save the skip being out in the road at mums.

Tuesday 21st September

Phoned the care home to let them know that the pension people would be going in to see mum tomorrow at 10am, they said that they would have mum up washed and dressed in good time

Popped into mums house and picked up the forms to fill out for giving up the tenancy of the property, text Michael to say that I had them.  Checked that everything was Ok.  Took some cuttings of plants and also took all the plated off the wall in the kitchen, washed them and put them in the box to go to the charity shop

Wednesday 22nd September

Got to the Care home just before 10am, mum was waiting for me, I think that she thought that I was taking her out.

The lady from the pensions office was already there when I got there, so we arrived in the unit together.  Mum was very confused and that answered one of the questions regarding her pension, shedefinitely wasn't able to deal with things herself and that she needed a person to act on her behalf.

We got all the paperwork completed and decided that as I had a second card in my name that they would continue paying mums pension into her post office account and that the home or KCC would invoice me for the fees that mum has to pay so that I could pay cash at the bank.  the Attendance Allowance should now stop but check mums bank account and if it is still being paid she gave me a number to ring to get in touch with them so that it would be stopped.  She also gave me a form to complete and send in to them as soon as mums stay at the care home becomes permanent so that they will have the address on file.

I am now responsible for mums pension and all correspondence will come to me.

I spend 2 hours with mum, I changed her duvet cover as it was very grubby, we then had a walk around the garden as it was such a lovely day.  She got a bit agitated about being outside so we went back into the dining room where we sat and chatted until John came to pick me up. John came in and he had a chat with her. he thought that she looked and seemed much better that last time we saw her.

Teresa had left a message on the answer machine to say that she was going over to mums with Linda tomorrow.  I text her to say that I had been in with mum all morning with the pension people sorting out her pension and that I wouldn't go over tomorrow but told that I was going over with Laura on Monday as Social Services were coming to pick up all the equipment that mum had and has to go back to them.

Phoned about Housing/Council tax benefits, they told me that they would stop it from 16th October but I must get a letter signed by mum with these details and another one signed by her to say that she authorises me to talk and deal with things on her behalf  


Friday 24th September

Sorted out the letter ready for mum to sign, to send about the housing/council benefit to be stopped  on the 16th October

6th - 16th September 2010

Monday 6th September 2010

Phoned and cancelled the lifeline they are sending a prepaid envelope to return everything back to them.


Wednesday 8th September


Took in a new duvet and covers when we went in to see mum and I put them on mums bed, she was very sleepy and said that she hadn't slept the night before and she said that she had been cold, I told her that she would be OK tonight now that she had the new duvet.

She asked us where all the others were and I told her that Teresa and Linda were on holiday and Michael was working and she said that she 'never sees the bloody bloke,' I said to her that, yes she did he had come into see her on Saturday, she said that she couldn't remember seeing him.

We stayed with her for about an hour as she was very tired and kept falling asleep. We left her with her TV on, she said that she was going back to bed.

On the way out we saw Daphne and she ask if we had done anything about mums house, I told her that we hadn't done anything yet because we had to wait 4-6 weeks for assessment on mum from the care home, she said that she thought that all would be fine and it would be safe to do that now.

Popped over to make sure all was OK at mums.
 
Thursday 9th September

Teresa phoned to say that she was going over to mums tomorrow to do some more sorting and wanted me to go over too, I told her that I couldn't go tomorrow, she said that she would still go over but she said that she thought that all 3 of us should go over one day next week, I said that I thought that was good idea.  Teresa said that Linda was popping into see mum tomorrow when she goes shopping and that they were all going in on Saturday.  She said that Michael had said that she seemed to be worse each time he goes into see her!

Saturday 11th September

Teresa phone to say that she had been into see mum with Michael and that they had taken mum out, they had taken her to a garden centre and then onto Tesco where they had a nice coffee shop she said that mum was fine but that she had not been able to get a whole sentence out, when they took her back she had asked Micheal if it was his house, but that she had been fine about going back in.  Teresa said that she has asked for mum to have her hair done on Tuesday.

Teresa and Linda had done a lot more sorting out at mums.

Monday 13th September

Michael came in and collected the paperwork for the housing association as he was going to ring them about giving up the house, he told me he would ring and sort it out on Wednesday


Tuesday 14th September

Tried to sort out Social Services about the collection of all the equipment that was at mums, had to leave a message on their answer phone

We went into see mum, took in some more clothes for her, a waste bin for her room and a couple of new hair brushes.

We went in the afternoon they were just about to have some entertainment in the lounge, mum was asleep in the chair when we got there, the carer went over to her and said 'Annie, you have visitors' I waved to her and she waved but look she looked a bit confused, she asked me if I would like to sit on her lap, I told her that I thought that I was a bit big for that, when she saw John she asked him where Liz was, I said that I was Liz..then she said of course you are. (John thinks that she has regressed and thought that I was younger that I am)

We took her back to her room.  She looked really well and had her hair done and looked good,she said that she had seen Mary but we thought that she must have seem someone that looked like her.  We had a good laugh with her.  John found a welcome pack from the care home in her room which had a mans name on it and John asked her if she had a man in her room and she said 'I wish'.

She found it hard to form a sentence and it was sad to see her struggle so much.  We opened her room door so that she could hear the entertainer.  We went along to the dining room and when she past the lounge where the entertainment was she was clapping her hands to the music like the rest of them,

She wanted to go back to her room as she said that she was tired so we left her sitting in her chair watching her TV, she had wanted to get into bed but we said that she was better in her chair for now

On the way out Cynthia caught us and ask if we thought that mum would like to go on an outing on Thursday afternoon, we said that we thought that she would love to go, she went it to talk to mum as we left.

Text both Michael and Teresa and told them about the visit, also phoned Daph and she said that Mary and  Bev had gone into see mum this morning they had sat with her while she had her hair done, I told her that she had said that she had seen Mary.

I felt a lot better seeing her today she looked like she belonged there.

Thursday 16th September     

Picked up Teresa from her house as her bus didn't arrive and we got to mums about 1ish we sorted out a lot of rubbish to throw away and sorted stuff for the charity shop.

Just got to get rid of furniture and get carpets up  We started to clear out the cupboards in the outhouse, Linda came over to join us, I had to leave at 4pm.

I am waiting to hear from Michael about phoning the housing association

Mum settling in and a visit to our house

Wednesday 1st September 2010 

We went into see mum she was very, very muddly. Daphne said that she had been muddly for the last couple of days.

We went into her room and I went and got her a cup of tea. We took two photos in that we had put in frames which she seemed very pleased with.  She has been and had her hair done and she said that she had been out and had been to the hairdressers, (she had been up in the lift to the hairdressers up stairs in the care home).

She told us that Mary and Roger had been into see her and she was pleased to see them.

I asked Daphne if we could pick her up on Sunday and take her to our house for a short visit.  Daphne said that would be fine but it wouldn't be a good idea to take her anywhere near her house.

Mum walked to the Dining room and sat down she waved at another lady as we went in.

The people from the Pension phoned about coming to make me an appointee to deal with mums pension.  Sue Lumsden would be coming to the Care Home on Wednesday 22nd September to see me and mum to fill out the forms to make me mums appointee to deal with her pension.

Friday 3rd September

Had a letter from the pension people confirming the appointment on 22nd September.  I phoned the care home as they also sent one to mum they told me that any official looking letters address to mum were kept at the desk and given to the family when they came in.

Daphne said that mum was 'full of beans' and that she had just demolished a plate full of fish and chips, I spoke to mum and she sounded a lot better that when we last saw her on Wednesday, she got in a bit of a state about the phone and it took her a while to grasp how to talk to me and then it was an age to get her to give the phone back.  Daphne told me that Daph, Dib and Bett had been into see her Today.

Michael phoned to say he is going into see mum tomorrow, he told me that a friend of his had gone into Hartley House to put their mums name down for a place there and mums name was still on their list. We decided  to just leave mums name on the list in case things don't work out at Park View. His friend told him that everyone is entitled to the first 12 weeks free when they first go into residential/nursing care   .  I told him that mum was coming here on Sunday for a while and told him that I would text him when we get back here and he said that he would pop round.     
   
Daph phoned in the evening to say that when they got there the carer was getting mum dressed, Bett sat in mums chair and mum saw her when she came out of the bathroom and was really to see her.  She said that they had a good visit.

Daph said that someone had given her a form to fill out about mum, which she thought that we should fill out but they said that they wanted her to fill out as much as she could about mums life story and then others can add to it when they come in so they know as much about mum as possible so that they could prompt mums memory about things. I told her about bringing mum home here on Sunday, she was really surprise and said that she didn't think that it was a good idea and what did Michael think about it. I told her he was OK about it and that we had talked to Daphne about it and she thought that mum was ready as long as we didn't take her anywhere near her house or Hawkhurst.

Saturday 4th September 

Daph phoned to say that Philip (mums next door neighbour) had been over and said that mums front door was open they noticed it yesterday, they thought that one of us were there because after a while they looked and it looked closed but it was open again this morning.

I phoned Michael to see if he had been over and he said that he hadn't.  Phoned Daph and she said that they had been over and made sure the door was shut properly and that everything was OK

Sunday 5th September

We picked mum up at 10.15am she had forgotten she was coming here and she was really excited, we got her changed, she saw one of the other ladies walking along the corridor and she told her that she was going on her holidays and then she waved at one of the other ladies and when she didn't wave back mum said 'miserable old cow'  .  She went into the dining room and told them that she was going out and one of the ladies said to her 'you have a nice time dear you deserve it' and then she looked at me and said 'you look after her'.

When we got her to the car mum asked John if he had to pay to get her out, he said 'yes but you can pay me back later' she looked at him and said 'you cheeky bugger'.

She didn't remember our house at all and she said 'imagine if ever I went to my house!' she stayed for a couple of hours and then we took her back, she said I thought that you would take me through the village and John said it's Sunday so there wouldn't be anyone about, when we got her back she said 'what are we doing here and I told her it was where she was staying and she said 'Oh I didn't know that' she want in as good a gold, she was a bit disorientated when we got back in the unit and rambled something about  Cranbrook.

We took her back to her room, which was kept locked while mum was out, when we opened the door she looked at the photos on the window sill and said 'good that's where they are'  We put the TV on for her and left her quite happily having a doze.